I rose that morning with great apprehension. Wasn't sure what to expect.
A couple days ago I had to go to the Hillindale branch to get copies of my mammogram films. LOL! didn't know they still had those things around...and still in use. Of course we all;my mom,A.D., and his mom; examined them.
There it is. That cloudy...ginger shaped... mass in my breast. A piece of ginger root is what came to mind when I examined the film. Can't they just take it out. UGH! Maybe that's what Dr.Q. will do. idk
I made my way to Dekalb Medical's main campus and up to Dr. Q's office. A nurse takes me to the back, takes my vitals, asks 10 million questions including the film I brought. She scans through them, holding each up to the light. Pretty expressionless so I had a hard time getting some kind of vibe.
"It's pretty small huh?" I asked. Just to get something outta her. "Yea, it's not that big but the doctor will talk to you more when he comes in."
Long story short. The doctor comes in, does a breast and axillary exam, takes measurements, looks at the film, and request a biopsy be done. That word jolted me a bit. They were gonna cut me to take tissue out. OUCH!
That Friday, for some reason I realized I hadn't verified if Dr. Q was in my insurance network. Investigation showed he wasn't the scramble was on to find another surgeon. I found Dr. R.
She repeats the same steps at Dr. Q and agrees that a biopsy is to be done. Her staff got that set up to be done a couple weeks later in that office. A lot had already occurred but the entanglement begins with my next appointment.
Next post "Biopsy #1"
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Monday, March 28, 2011
The Call
We waited anxiously. In a way, kinda hoping NOT to hear from her. I have mad respect for this doctor, she and I have been together for a long time... even pregnant at the same time (Trey); so yea, we got a little bond.
About 4 something that afternoon, my cell rang from a number that I didn't have as a contact. Just the number showed... no name, no pic. "Hello" I said. "Mrs. Merrick, it's Dr. C....." She informed me that she had to pull over and talk to me cause she was on her way home. Damn I thought. She's in her car, on her personal cell but still called. This can't be good.
She begins to explain that there is need for further investigation on the lump and wanted me to see a surgeon for their opinion and possible biopsy. "A nurse, she's called a navigator, will call you in the morning to help you start setting your appointments."
Start setting my appointments,... what kind of appointments I wondered. I had no problems picking up the phone to call her or any of my other doctors.
She gave me the contact info of the provider she wanted me to see. "What kind of doctor is he" I asked. "He's a surgeon that specializes on the breast. He is the best in the area and does excellent work. This is just a precaution, we just need to see what we're dealing with and make sure it's nothing."
We did a little more small talk and called it an evening.
A.D. stood near by for the entire conversation and saw the change in my expressions and body language. Of course he wanted details of the conversation and that he got. "So they think it's something more that a lump?" "I don't know" I replied "but they want me to get looked at further and possibly get a biopsy." After a little cuddling and consoling he says "they just making sure my baby is fine...that's all... and I know you are."
That night I couldn't sleep. The mere thought this could be something more than a lump that needed to plucked and discarded frightened me. Though no one has said it yet, we knew what this could possibly lead to. "It couldn't be that though, there is no family history of breast cancer."
The next day around 10ish, I got a call from Alisha, the nurse navigator. She happened to catch me while in physical therapy. She explained that she would be guiding me along the way and if I needed anything was to let her know. I filled her in on my recent injury and recovery process and that any appointment with this new doctor would need to work around that. She called and got that set up for me.
My guess was that was just if for her, she works with the hospital to find the right provider and schedule for patients. This chick called me at least 2 times a week, at first it didn't bother me. Now that my head was clearing a bit, I began to really wonder what in the world was a Nurse Navigator. Per the trusty web, a nurse navigator is a nurse trained to advocate, and coordinate care for cancer patients. WHHHATT!! I felt and immediate rush of heat, fear, worry...just tons of emotions at the same time. "Are they really saying I doo have cancer, cause Dr. C. didn't say that. She just wanted to get this lump looked at further" were my thoughts.
In my next conversation with Alisha, I had to to ask "are they saying I have cancer?" she took the professional way outta this one. "Well they just want me to help you get through this precautionary period. Dr. Q will be able to tell us more." blah blah blah blah... was what I heard after that. My heart dropped when I got off the phone with her. "There is no family history of this disease, so why do they believe it's plaguing me.?"
Next step, meet with Dr. Q, have him do an evaluation and give a diagnosis I guess about this lump.
About 4 something that afternoon, my cell rang from a number that I didn't have as a contact. Just the number showed... no name, no pic. "Hello" I said. "Mrs. Merrick, it's Dr. C....." She informed me that she had to pull over and talk to me cause she was on her way home. Damn I thought. She's in her car, on her personal cell but still called. This can't be good.
She begins to explain that there is need for further investigation on the lump and wanted me to see a surgeon for their opinion and possible biopsy. "A nurse, she's called a navigator, will call you in the morning to help you start setting your appointments."
Start setting my appointments,... what kind of appointments I wondered. I had no problems picking up the phone to call her or any of my other doctors.
She gave me the contact info of the provider she wanted me to see. "What kind of doctor is he" I asked. "He's a surgeon that specializes on the breast. He is the best in the area and does excellent work. This is just a precaution, we just need to see what we're dealing with and make sure it's nothing."
We did a little more small talk and called it an evening.
A.D. stood near by for the entire conversation and saw the change in my expressions and body language. Of course he wanted details of the conversation and that he got. "So they think it's something more that a lump?" "I don't know" I replied "but they want me to get looked at further and possibly get a biopsy." After a little cuddling and consoling he says "they just making sure my baby is fine...that's all... and I know you are."
That night I couldn't sleep. The mere thought this could be something more than a lump that needed to plucked and discarded frightened me. Though no one has said it yet, we knew what this could possibly lead to. "It couldn't be that though, there is no family history of breast cancer."
The next day around 10ish, I got a call from Alisha, the nurse navigator. She happened to catch me while in physical therapy. She explained that she would be guiding me along the way and if I needed anything was to let her know. I filled her in on my recent injury and recovery process and that any appointment with this new doctor would need to work around that. She called and got that set up for me.
My guess was that was just if for her, she works with the hospital to find the right provider and schedule for patients. This chick called me at least 2 times a week, at first it didn't bother me. Now that my head was clearing a bit, I began to really wonder what in the world was a Nurse Navigator. Per the trusty web, a nurse navigator is a nurse trained to advocate, and coordinate care for cancer patients. WHHHATT!!
In my next conversation with Alisha, I had to to ask "are they saying I have cancer?" she took the professional way outta this one. "Well they just want me to help you get through this precautionary period. Dr. Q will be able to tell us more." blah blah blah blah... was what I heard after that. My heart dropped when I got off the phone with her. "There is no family history of this disease, so why do they believe it's plaguing me.?"
Next step, meet with Dr. Q, have him do an evaluation and give a diagnosis I guess about this lump.
Friday, March 25, 2011
1 Year Ago
Who would have ever guessed!?... that last year I was in the fight of my life. It's been long hard and challenging gut I'm glad to have made it this far, all in all... still doing pretty well.
When this blog was created, I did so with intentions of keeping my friends abreast of my care. Many of you however have asked "how did you find out?" and many other relevant questions about how this all got started. Now the turbulence has settled, I feel that time can now be shared with you.
Early 2009
Yup! that's when the lump was first noticed. No big deal I thought since it seemed to come and go with "Penlope." Instead of guessing, I discussed it with my gynocologist. Her exam concluded that "there may be a lump but it may just be due to your cycle, we'll just keep an eye on it." She said "if there are any changes in size and or shape come back and we'll check it out." No problem. I thought very little of this and really wasn't bothered with her decission.
For the next several month I did as she said. Checking for any changes... feeling and looking at them. As time went on I remember mentioning to A.D. that "the lump no longer seems to go away with Penelope." "It seems like it has gotten bigger." We weren't sure. Another month or so went by and I said nothing. Something inside began to churn and alert me that this isn't normal. Right then all I wanted to do was focus on my upcoming 2nd degree black belt test. A.D., Trey, and I were scheduled to test together for the same belt rank. :) It would have been nice to have such an accomplishment with them.
The week of November 2, 2009, I finally work up enough nerve to tell A.D. it was time to get this lump looked at further. It was now maybe 4-5 times the size it was when it was originally discovered and now disfigured my left breast. Since it was late in the week, the call to the gynacologist would be made on Monday.
November 8,2009
A.D., myself, and another friend met at the Dojong to train. We were preparing for our upcoming 2nd degree test. We were good. :) During our defense drills... I set up for a particular kick, but when I did that. OMG! SNAP!!!!!! my right Achilles Tendon broke. I've heard of this but NEVA imagined it happening to me. I had surgery to repair in, spent several weeks in a cast, even more in a boot, and then physical therapy. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to test in December with my crew. A.D. was playing Hoke and driving Ms. Daisy everywhere. LOL! what a time.
February 2010
Finally able to get back behind the wheel, :) so I take iniative to follow up with my gynocolagist. This time she is alarmed approximate diameter of the lump and orders a diagnostic mammogram and ultrasound for me. That was completed maybe about 2 weeks later.
I remember the both tech's clearly. They both remained unemotional about the whole thing. So therefore I wasn't expecting anything much... until the tech who directed me to get dressed said "I will send your results to Dr. C. and she will call you either this afternoon or first thing in the morning." It was already late in the afternoon... so that alarmed me that she would call the same day.
The events of the exam was expressed to my husband over fear and worry at this point. "She's just gonna say all is well" he says. My thoughts... if the doctor calls you.... it ain't good.
That evening, my cell rings and I see it's from my doctors office. "Mrs. Merrick, this is _____ from Dr. C.'s office. I have been hunting you down cause the number on file is no longer in service. I called the hospital and got this number from them and it worked. Dr. C. want to talk to you but I had to find you first. She will call you shortly." Despite A.D.'s word of comfort, fear and worry began to set in.
To be continued with "The Call" in the next post.
When this blog was created, I did so with intentions of keeping my friends abreast of my care. Many of you however have asked "how did you find out?" and many other relevant questions about how this all got started. Now the turbulence has settled, I feel that time can now be shared with you.
Early 2009
Yup! that's when the lump was first noticed. No big deal I thought since it seemed to come and go with "Penlope." Instead of guessing, I discussed it with my gynocologist. Her exam concluded that "there may be a lump but it may just be due to your cycle, we'll just keep an eye on it." She said "if there are any changes in size and or shape come back and we'll check it out." No problem. I thought very little of this and really wasn't bothered with her decission.
For the next several month I did as she said. Checking for any changes... feeling and looking at them. As time went on I remember mentioning to A.D. that "the lump no longer seems to go away with Penelope." "It seems like it has gotten bigger." We weren't sure. Another month or so went by and I said nothing. Something inside began to churn and alert me that this isn't normal. Right then all I wanted to do was focus on my upcoming 2nd degree black belt test. A.D., Trey, and I were scheduled to test together for the same belt rank. :) It would have been nice to have such an accomplishment with them.
The week of November 2, 2009, I finally work up enough nerve to tell A.D. it was time to get this lump looked at further. It was now maybe 4-5 times the size it was when it was originally discovered and now disfigured my left breast. Since it was late in the week, the call to the gynacologist would be made on Monday.
November 8,2009
A.D., myself, and another friend met at the Dojong to train. We were preparing for our upcoming 2nd degree test. We were good. :) During our defense drills... I set up for a particular kick, but when I did that. OMG! SNAP!!!!!! my right Achilles Tendon broke. I've heard of this but NEVA imagined it happening to me. I had surgery to repair in, spent several weeks in a cast, even more in a boot, and then physical therapy. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to test in December with my crew. A.D. was playing Hoke and driving Ms. Daisy everywhere. LOL! what a time.
February 2010
Finally able to get back behind the wheel, :) so I take iniative to follow up with my gynocolagist. This time she is alarmed approximate diameter of the lump and orders a diagnostic mammogram and ultrasound for me. That was completed maybe about 2 weeks later.
I remember the both tech's clearly. They both remained unemotional about the whole thing. So therefore I wasn't expecting anything much... until the tech who directed me to get dressed said "I will send your results to Dr. C. and she will call you either this afternoon or first thing in the morning." It was already late in the afternoon... so that alarmed me that she would call the same day.
The events of the exam was expressed to my husband over fear and worry at this point. "She's just gonna say all is well" he says. My thoughts... if the doctor calls you.... it ain't good.
That evening, my cell rings and I see it's from my doctors office. "Mrs. Merrick, this is _____ from Dr. C.'s office. I have been hunting you down cause the number on file is no longer in service. I called the hospital and got this number from them and it worked. Dr. C. want to talk to you but I had to find you first. She will call you shortly." Despite A.D.'s word of comfort, fear and worry began to set in.
To be continued with "The Call" in the next post.
Monday, March 21, 2011
Friday March 18th
I was feeling pretty good about my appointment today. A.D. and I had a discussion the night before about Lupron and decided to give it a try. We'd see how the side effect went and stop if necessary. Before my Herceptin IV, I met with Dr. S. humph... We went over in detail Lupron, it's effects and A.D.'s concerns. We even discussed the potential loss of sex drive. Dr.S. explains that all the meds he's prescribed for me has that potential effect, so that risk is no NOo greater now than when on chemo.
Next, he looks up the results from the last echo. Remember, I get them every 6 weeks now as opposed to every 3 months. While the results still show a healthy heart, my heart function percentage is still falling. Now we're down to 60%. :( This warranted Dr.S. to refer me to a cardiologist and move my already expedited echo's to every 4 weeks. Though precautions are being taken, I feel confident I will persevere. This is just another hiccup. The cardiologist will also perform the next echo in his office and is the one that has read all previous scans. That appointment is set for the 30th. I'll keep you updated.
Just me
What can I say... besides a bit tired, I feel pretty good. Started taking a daily multiple again to help boost my energy level but it hasn't really kicked in yet. Can't believe it's almost 11 pm and I'm here blogging. AmAzzing! I've actually contemplated wearing my Robo cop boot again. At times I think the achilles on the other leg feels tender. Not sure if I'm more aware of any simple pains or what. IDK... but... I really don't want to hurt anymore. Enough is Enough. Anyway, I pray this post makes sense cause I'm tired as ever and didn't prove read it. LOL!
Peace and Love
Mel
Next, he looks up the results from the last echo. Remember, I get them every 6 weeks now as opposed to every 3 months. While the results still show a healthy heart, my heart function percentage is still falling. Now we're down to 60%. :( This warranted Dr.S. to refer me to a cardiologist and move my already expedited echo's to every 4 weeks. Though precautions are being taken, I feel confident I will persevere. This is just another hiccup. The cardiologist will also perform the next echo in his office and is the one that has read all previous scans. That appointment is set for the 30th. I'll keep you updated.
Just me
What can I say... besides a bit tired, I feel pretty good. Started taking a daily multiple again to help boost my energy level but it hasn't really kicked in yet. Can't believe it's almost 11 pm and I'm here blogging. AmAzzing! I've actually contemplated wearing my Robo cop boot again. At times I think the achilles on the other leg feels tender. Not sure if I'm more aware of any simple pains or what. IDK... but... I really don't want to hurt anymore. Enough is Enough. Anyway, I pray this post makes sense cause I'm tired as ever and didn't prove read it. LOL!
Peace and Love
Mel
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Decissions Decissions
This is a redo cause I somehow or another wasn't able to safe the first one and..... it.... vanished.
As I mentioned to you in my last blog, Dr.S. now wants me to start a new drug, Lupron. It's purpose is to stop my body from ovulating. This drug tells the pituitary gland to send receptors out that inform the body to no longer release eggs. The reason Dr. S. wants to prescribe this med is due to the fact my tumor is hormone receptive...basically hormones (estrogen) are a food source for the type of tumor I had. So, should a tumor ever reappear, there would be no source of nutrients for it grow. This medication would NOT be necessary if I had already gone though menopause. No cycle... no newly produced hormones... nothing to feed new tumors.
The only problem with this is that there are some potentially serious side effects. Side effects that has A.D. kinda in a fickle. Trust me, he has a good argument but I am fine with them.... except one. They are as follows: common ones are Hot flashes, decreased libido; yup, this is my concern. Less common: increased bone pain, breast pain, swelling, weakness, depression, and discomfort at injection site. Rare but significant: congestive heart failure and problems with blood clots.
Honestly, I don't believe there is a drug out there that doesn't have some kind of side effect. Anyway, I was fine with what my doc told me about it why I needed to take this; BUT NOT my husband. He has been somewhat challenging me with questions about it that I honestly couldn't answer. So I got him to speak directly with Dr. S. Even after a 15 minute conference, A.D. still wasn't satisfied with his detailed answers.
That evening A.D. asked if I was going to go though with my appointment for this shot. My response, "yea." He then gives me that "I don't know what else to say to make you reconsider" look and hand gesture. Needless to say, next morning I didn't make it to my appointment, I just couldn't do it with my partner's resent toward it.
Right now with the help of my sister and brother-in-law, we are exploring other possible options. My sister has also somewhat opened a Pandora's box about it as well. Ugh! I'll let you know what I decided...when I decide.
Until then,
peace and love!
As I mentioned to you in my last blog, Dr.S. now wants me to start a new drug, Lupron. It's purpose is to stop my body from ovulating. This drug tells the pituitary gland to send receptors out that inform the body to no longer release eggs. The reason Dr. S. wants to prescribe this med is due to the fact my tumor is hormone receptive...basically hormones (estrogen) are a food source for the type of tumor I had. So, should a tumor ever reappear, there would be no source of nutrients for it grow. This medication would NOT be necessary if I had already gone though menopause. No cycle... no newly produced hormones... nothing to feed new tumors.
The only problem with this is that there are some potentially serious side effects. Side effects that has A.D. kinda in a fickle. Trust me, he has a good argument but I am fine with them.... except one. They are as follows: common ones are Hot flashes, decreased libido; yup, this is my concern. Less common: increased bone pain, breast pain, swelling, weakness, depression, and discomfort at injection site. Rare but significant: congestive heart failure and problems with blood clots.
Honestly, I don't believe there is a drug out there that doesn't have some kind of side effect. Anyway, I was fine with what my doc told me about it why I needed to take this; BUT NOT my husband. He has been somewhat challenging me with questions about it that I honestly couldn't answer. So I got him to speak directly with Dr. S. Even after a 15 minute conference, A.D. still wasn't satisfied with his detailed answers.
That evening A.D. asked if I was going to go though with my appointment for this shot. My response, "yea." He then gives me that "I don't know what else to say to make you reconsider" look and hand gesture. Needless to say, next morning I didn't make it to my appointment, I just couldn't do it with my partner's resent toward it.
Right now with the help of my sister and brother-in-law, we are exploring other possible options. My sister has also somewhat opened a Pandora's box about it as well. Ugh! I'll let you know what I decided...when I decide.
Until then,
peace and love!
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