Here at my aunt's, by marriage, house bringing in the new year with family. We all gathered in the living room to watch a video biography of the late R. Morton. A.D.'s grandmother who passed February 2010. The video contained photographs from her youth, family gatherings over the years and even her funeral, it was very tastefully done. I miss her... I'm sure we(the family) all do.
As 2011 came near I couldn't help but feel a bit overwhelmed. There is so much for me to be thankful for- my family, doctors, techs, friends, good spirits, life.
-so much to say goodbye to- broken Achilles, Cancer, Chemo, some broken relationships,
- and so much good to look forward to in 2011- healing, growing my business, finishing up treatments (Herceptin should be done by June or July), maybe a vacation. LOL! would be nice.
It was all so much for me to absorb as the clock stuck 12:00. After all the cheers, hugs and all that stuff, I retreated to the bathroom for a quiet cry. I'm was just happy for the new possibilities for 2011 and the end of 2010's misfortunes. Though they may make me stronger in some sense... I'm still glad it's over.
I wish you all a wonderful 2011. Happy New Year! :)
Friday, December 31, 2010
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Last Radiation
Finally! Today is it! December 27,2010, My last day of radiation. I'm so happy... so is my gas tank/ purse. Here's a little story for you.
Prior to Christmas I got a card from someone in Loganville. My husband and I relentlessly tried to figure out who the heck was sending "me" a card, from Loganville, the person didn't put their name above the return address. I carefully opened the envelope, heck I didn't know who it was either. Anyway, inside was a little handwritten note, 3 Season's Greetings scratch-offs, and a QT gas card. When I finally saw the name on the back of the card I still couldn't figure out who in the world it was, then it finally hit me. Remember I told you about "Cleaning for a Purpose," (check my previous post) well it was from the cleaning lady that had come by. OMG! I thought that was ever so thoughtful of her and very much appreciated.
Back to my last day. The routine was the same but everyone was excited for me. Before they started, one tech noticed how much my skin under my arm had opened up. She said if this had happened earlier in the process we would have had to stop and take a break... BUT since that area isn't being radiated anymore we can go forward and be done. Once off the table, Ms. W. gave a huge hug and told me what a wonderful patient I was and I had a wonderful fam. Though she's Asian, I think she had a thing for my husband. LOL! I ain't mad. Outside the room, I got well wishes from the other 2 techs... Mr. R reminds me of my homie Dwan B., and Ms. T... she's a sweetheart. Before leaving I saw the doctor on-call and filled out a survey. This doctor did mention to me that within 2 weeks I should gain my energy back...didn't realize it was missing... LOL! well that's the excuse I'm using for now to not put a little umph into getting a workout done.
ALL DONE! :D
December 28th
I've been on cloud 9 since yesterday. In the shower I had the privilege of removing all those stickers from my chest. Since they had been there so long, they left my chest with areas resembling crop circles...brown ones! obviously. :) Now my skin has to heal, I understand it will take maybe a couple of weeks for the burns to heal and maybe a few months for the skin to turn back to it's natural color. There is also some tingling/ itching near my incisions. I know all to well what that means. The nerves are finally repairing themselves... I remember from last year when I ruptured my Achilles Tendon, so I'm anticipating having more feeling back pretty soon.
Next week I have an appointment with the plastic surgeon. Juuusst seeing what my options are. But as usual, I'll keep you posted.
Happy New Year!
Prior to Christmas I got a card from someone in Loganville. My husband and I relentlessly tried to figure out who the heck was sending "me" a card, from Loganville, the person didn't put their name above the return address. I carefully opened the envelope, heck I didn't know who it was either. Anyway, inside was a little handwritten note, 3 Season's Greetings scratch-offs, and a QT gas card. When I finally saw the name on the back of the card I still couldn't figure out who in the world it was, then it finally hit me. Remember I told you about "Cleaning for a Purpose," (check my previous post) well it was from the cleaning lady that had come by. OMG! I thought that was ever so thoughtful of her and very much appreciated.
Back to my last day. The routine was the same but everyone was excited for me. Before they started, one tech noticed how much my skin under my arm had opened up. She said if this had happened earlier in the process we would have had to stop and take a break... BUT since that area isn't being radiated anymore we can go forward and be done. Once off the table, Ms. W. gave a huge hug and told me what a wonderful patient I was and I had a wonderful fam. Though she's Asian, I think she had a thing for my husband. LOL! I ain't mad. Outside the room, I got well wishes from the other 2 techs... Mr. R reminds me of my homie Dwan B., and Ms. T... she's a sweetheart. Before leaving I saw the doctor on-call and filled out a survey. This doctor did mention to me that within 2 weeks I should gain my energy back...didn't realize it was missing... LOL! well that's the excuse I'm using for now to not put a little umph into getting a workout done.
ALL DONE! :D
December 28th
I've been on cloud 9 since yesterday. In the shower I had the privilege of removing all those stickers from my chest. Since they had been there so long, they left my chest with areas resembling crop circles...brown ones! obviously. :) Now my skin has to heal, I understand it will take maybe a couple of weeks for the burns to heal and maybe a few months for the skin to turn back to it's natural color. There is also some tingling/ itching near my incisions. I know all to well what that means. The nerves are finally repairing themselves... I remember from last year when I ruptured my Achilles Tendon, so I'm anticipating having more feeling back pretty soon.
Next week I have an appointment with the plastic surgeon. Juuusst seeing what my options are. But as usual, I'll keep you posted.
Happy New Year!
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Nearing the End
Over the weekend the skin broke under my arm. I have already been in pain from stiffness, and my skin being nuked daily.... now to have an open sore... ugh... I just happy it's all almost over. I had A.D. lotion my back last night and he informed me that the left side was even darker than the right. That's some serious stuff! WOW.
December 20th
On my way into the radiation room, I remembered to ask how many treatments were left. 5 left after today! yyeeaaa! I'm so freaking happy... I just don't know what to say. Oh... my... gosh... :D This will be time for my body to start to recooperate,... and allow my skin to return to it's normal color. So Monday December 27,2010... radiation for me will be done when I walk outta the office. :D
Hair
It's growing pretty fast. :) I can actually hang on to some if I squeeze it between 2 fingers, can even get it to roll almost halfway around a finger as well. Trust me, it's not a ton like it was before, not even the same texture but it's coming along. I went out with my girls the other evening and went WITHOUT a wig or hat. Just me. :)
Remember how disgusted I was about how much my body is changing... for the worst, and how determined I was to start working out again.... Well... let me just say... it's hard to workout when it hasn't been done in a while. lol! guess I'll have to break back into it a little slower than I really anticipate. Need some motivation. :)
Not sure if I'll post again before Christmas so just in case I don't... Merry Christmas Everyone and a Happy New Year! Much love and blessings to all my followers and readers.
Thank you all so much for your support.
December 20th
On my way into the radiation room, I remembered to ask how many treatments were left. 5 left after today! yyeeaaa! I'm so freaking happy... I just don't know what to say. Oh... my... gosh... :D This will be time for my body to start to recooperate,... and allow my skin to return to it's normal color. So Monday December 27,2010... radiation for me will be done when I walk outta the office. :D
Hair
It's growing pretty fast. :) I can actually hang on to some if I squeeze it between 2 fingers, can even get it to roll almost halfway around a finger as well. Trust me, it's not a ton like it was before, not even the same texture but it's coming along. I went out with my girls the other evening and went WITHOUT a wig or hat. Just me. :)
Remember how disgusted I was about how much my body is changing... for the worst, and how determined I was to start working out again.... Well... let me just say... it's hard to workout when it hasn't been done in a while. lol! guess I'll have to break back into it a little slower than I really anticipate. Need some motivation. :)
Not sure if I'll post again before Christmas so just in case I don't... Merry Christmas Everyone and a Happy New Year! Much love and blessings to all my followers and readers.
Thank you all so much for your support.
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Growing Up
Coming here every day is no big thing, but today I realized I'm a senior at this. It's Thursday December 9,2010. A new patient arrived today. An older white lady, I would guess her to be in her 60's. She seemed a bit shy, kinda to herself as she came around the corner to the changing/ patient waiting room. Then she asked "is this where we change and wait for radiation? There was no one up front so I'm not sure what to do.... it's my first day." Since I was closest to the changing rooms I answered. I gave her the routine that even you guys know well by now. LOL! In our conversation, I learned today was not only her; I'll refer to her as Ms.G; first radiation but also her first chemo. Ugh! I kinda disliked her asking so many questions about chemo and it's side effects... NOT that I mind telling her about mine... I didn't want to scare her. Chemo reacts differently for every patient. Nonetheless, I told her the truth about what I experienced and so did my "other new friend." I wished her the best on my way out and shared one little piece of advise... "bring your own blanket for chemo. Sometimes the office runs out and it's just comforting to have your own, you'll be there for about 4-5 hours." :)
December 10,2010
I'm second for radiation this morning. Ms. G came in shortly after and seems a little more relaxed. humph! relaxed or whipped up from those drugs. She greets me warmly and I must admit.... I was surprised she remembered my name and used it so comfortably. After she got changed, she sat next to me and admitted she was a bit tired from her first treatments. Otherwise, all went well for her. So glad to hear that... but I'll see what she says on Monday. I got sick 2 days after chemo, let's see how she does.
Peace and Love,
Mel
December 10,2010
I'm second for radiation this morning. Ms. G came in shortly after and seems a little more relaxed. humph! relaxed or whipped up from those drugs. She greets me warmly and I must admit.... I was surprised she remembered my name and used it so comfortably. After she got changed, she sat next to me and admitted she was a bit tired from her first treatments. Otherwise, all went well for her. So glad to hear that... but I'll see what she says on Monday. I got sick 2 days after chemo, let's see how she does.
Peace and Love,
Mel
Friday, December 17, 2010
About 2 Weeks of Radiation Left
December 13
Yup... Ms. G got whipped up from her chemo over the weekend. LOL... Cancer/ Chemo is a bitch! I feel for her though, she has chemo weekly. I remember recover well, it takes about that long to get over it so by the time she probably starts feeling better it's literally time for another.
December 14th
Got some new lines and stickers this morning from my radiation doctor. He said they will now concentrate on the area where the tumor was located, the incision line and about 2 inches around it. "If the tumor reappears, it's most likely to be within 2 inches of the original tumor," he says.
December 15th
I alerted the techs that Dr. H. had given me new stickers and lines and they immediately knew what I meant. This team really knows how to work together. :) Once on the table they told me they would also take some pics. No big deal,... they take new pics every week. These pics though would concentrate on the newly outlined area only as would any radiation after today. Pics normally take an additional minute or so.... so why in the world did it take about 35 minutes this morning?! I made sure not to do too much unnecessary movements nor take deep breaths. Each tech took turns coming in the room with me to adjust the table, make new marks, and call to the other to do something. 35 MINUTES! by the time they told me I could move my arm down I was too numb to do it on my own. Oh, guess it might help if I described to you my position on the table huh?
Table position
I lay on my back in my custom made body cast with my head turned to the right. My left arm raised above my head; kinda in that old school "I'm gonna faint" position; and gown off the left shoulder exposing my underarm and breast.
They said for some reason the machine wouldn't take clear pics of me so they had to keep doing them over. On my way back to the dressing room, I had everyone asking if I was taking Glamor shots pictures and all sorts of stuff like that. LOL! "sorry everyone, but it wasn't my fault."
Well not too much of this left and I'm excited. Though the hospital isn't far from me it kills my $3.00 a gallon gas.
Yup... Ms. G got whipped up from her chemo over the weekend. LOL... Cancer/ Chemo is a bitch! I feel for her though, she has chemo weekly. I remember recover well, it takes about that long to get over it so by the time she probably starts feeling better it's literally time for another.
December 14th
Got some new lines and stickers this morning from my radiation doctor. He said they will now concentrate on the area where the tumor was located, the incision line and about 2 inches around it. "If the tumor reappears, it's most likely to be within 2 inches of the original tumor," he says.
December 15th
I alerted the techs that Dr. H. had given me new stickers and lines and they immediately knew what I meant. This team really knows how to work together. :) Once on the table they told me they would also take some pics. No big deal,... they take new pics every week. These pics though would concentrate on the newly outlined area only as would any radiation after today. Pics normally take an additional minute or so.... so why in the world did it take about 35 minutes this morning?! I made sure not to do too much unnecessary movements nor take deep breaths. Each tech took turns coming in the room with me to adjust the table, make new marks, and call to the other to do something. 35 MINUTES! by the time they told me I could move my arm down I was too numb to do it on my own. Oh, guess it might help if I described to you my position on the table huh?
Table position
I lay on my back in my custom made body cast with my head turned to the right. My left arm raised above my head; kinda in that old school "I'm gonna faint" position; and gown off the left shoulder exposing my underarm and breast.
They said for some reason the machine wouldn't take clear pics of me so they had to keep doing them over. On my way back to the dressing room, I had everyone asking if I was taking Glamor shots pictures and all sorts of stuff like that. LOL! "sorry everyone, but it wasn't my fault."
Well not too much of this left and I'm excited. Though the hospital isn't far from me it kills my $3.00 a gallon gas.
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Update 3
Hey guys,
I know it's been a couple of weeks since I have given you an update. Radiation is pretty repetitious so there really isn't much to tell about it. One side effect that I happen to notice just this evening was some breakage in the skin. :( These two little spots resemble broken skin when you scratch your skin too hard. I've been applying a prescribed topical ointments and aloe vera gel to assist and/ or prevent any additional irritation. Think I got about 2 more weeks of this and I'll be done. Not sure what they have planned for me after that... but I think my Oncologist mentioned something like doing another PET scan to make sure everything is gone.
Hair
My hair is getting longer. :) Nope... nooowhere like it was before but... I can just about pinch and inch on it now. LOL! when I pinch it, it reaches about 3 quarters up to the 1st knuckle. It's cute :) Not sure if everyone has been aware of the weather here in GA. It's been unseasonably cold. This meant I had to ditch the wigs and scarfs and put on something more sensible; knitted skullies! I got some cute ones. Don't think they leave my head unless I'm taking a shower or doing class. I even sleep in them. :D A.D. was like you have got to be kidding me. I know, I know... I most likely lost some cool point there ... shit! it's cold! and I ain't used to all this directly on my head.
Happy Holidays!
I know it's been a couple of weeks since I have given you an update. Radiation is pretty repetitious so there really isn't much to tell about it. One side effect that I happen to notice just this evening was some breakage in the skin. :( These two little spots resemble broken skin when you scratch your skin too hard. I've been applying a prescribed topical ointments and aloe vera gel to assist and/ or prevent any additional irritation. Think I got about 2 more weeks of this and I'll be done. Not sure what they have planned for me after that... but I think my Oncologist mentioned something like doing another PET scan to make sure everything is gone.
Hair
My hair is getting longer. :) Nope... nooowhere like it was before but... I can just about pinch and inch on it now. LOL! when I pinch it, it reaches about 3 quarters up to the 1st knuckle. It's cute :) Not sure if everyone has been aware of the weather here in GA. It's been unseasonably cold. This meant I had to ditch the wigs and scarfs and put on something more sensible; knitted skullies! I got some cute ones. Don't think they leave my head unless I'm taking a shower or doing class. I even sleep in them. :D A.D. was like you have got to be kidding me. I know, I know... I most likely lost some cool point there
Happy Holidays!
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Radiation 12/03/10
This will be a short one... promise... and I hope my post will not be jibberish cause I'm using A.D.'s laptop and the keys are sooooo close.
Radiation 12/03/10
This morning I started at my newly growing hair. Turning to the left and examining, turning to the right and examine some more. I cocked my head back to each corner, held it down... all sorts of ways over and over again. My eyebrows are finally filled back in; to a point I no longer need makeup to color them in; and maybe a little thicker, my lashes are still tryna plump up. "Not bad" I finally thought. "Mel you've been though so much this past year... it's ok, everything is fine now,... you are still beautiful... it was just hard to see with so many physical changes....but those changes have withered away and I see a beautiful me again." I went too the kids bathroom and hunted for my son's soft brush. My old one is too rough for me now. :) I brushed my new hair into place and finally... finally accepted my new look. "I am beautiful, I am still me, I am still cute, I am.... Mel!" Never mind the scars, they're there to simply remind me that nothing in life is guarenteed.
Live! Love! Laugh!
At the hospital
No specialty parking space available for me this morning. No worries... I need to walk... good for the heart. :)
I've really come to enjoy these ladies here with me. I never thought it would be nice to relate to others like me. Many times when I'm hurt or hurting, I choose to be by myself or really lash out...I don't linger too much in between. Always been like that. Anyway, we chatted a while about the toll radiation is having on us. The breast cancer patients were all the same; skin irritation under the arm, skin darkening, and shrinkage. Yup! they're uneven but I think I told you all that before. That led us to our next subject; breast augmentation/ reconstruction. This is actually something I wanted to address before my diagnosis, so now I think I will go ahead with it since my insurance will cover it. No implants, just a lift. Hey, I was a sexy B before these kids. Got pregnant and grew to a DD! Nursed both rugrats and grew into a F! that mess was unreal. but I'm still wearing a D.... en not so perky. ugh! So I plan to get that addressed. Just to even out everything and lift em back into place. :D The one lady that considers me her favorite agreed with me.... for herself that is. lol. This chick is 68 years old... and still wanting the girls to look right. I Love it.!
I asked them if we could take pictures. No hats, wigs,or scarfs. They agreed. So Monday is our picture day. :) I may share one with you. I'll keep you posted as usual.
Radiation 12/03/10
This morning I started at my newly growing hair. Turning to the left and examining, turning to the right and examine some more. I cocked my head back to each corner, held it down... all sorts of ways over and over again. My eyebrows are finally filled back in; to a point I no longer need makeup to color them in; and maybe a little thicker, my lashes are still tryna plump up. "Not bad" I finally thought. "Mel you've been though so much this past year... it's ok, everything is fine now,... you are still beautiful... it was just hard to see with so many physical changes....but those changes have withered away and I see a beautiful me again." I went too the kids bathroom and hunted for my son's soft brush. My old one is too rough for me now. :) I brushed my new hair into place and finally... finally accepted my new look. "I am beautiful, I am still me, I am still cute, I am.... Mel!" Never mind the scars, they're there to simply remind me that nothing in life is guarenteed.
Live! Love! Laugh!
At the hospital
No specialty parking space available for me this morning. No worries... I need to walk... good for the heart. :)
I've really come to enjoy these ladies here with me. I never thought it would be nice to relate to others like me. Many times when I'm hurt or hurting, I choose to be by myself or really lash out...I don't linger too much in between. Always been like that. Anyway, we chatted a while about the toll radiation is having on us. The breast cancer patients were all the same; skin irritation under the arm, skin darkening, and shrinkage. Yup! they're uneven but I think I told you all that before. That led us to our next subject; breast augmentation/ reconstruction. This is actually something I wanted to address before my diagnosis, so now I think I will go ahead with it since my insurance will cover it. No implants, just a lift. Hey, I was a sexy B before these kids. Got pregnant and grew to a DD! Nursed both rugrats and grew into a F! that mess was unreal. but I'm still wearing a D.... en not so perky. ugh! So I plan to get that addressed. Just to even out everything and lift em back into place. :D The one lady that considers me her favorite agreed with me.... for herself that is. lol. This chick is 68 years old... and still wanting the girls to look right. I Love it.!
I asked them if we could take pictures. No hats, wigs,or scarfs. They agreed. So Monday is our picture day. :) I may share one with you. I'll keep you posted as usual.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
12/01/10 radiation
I had a great time today in the radiation department. It's not just the staff but these wonderful, strong, and brave women that share/shared this horrible disease with me. We had a discussion about our doctors, the hospital, the staff, our scars and insurance. Let me say this about Dekalb Medical Hospital- Decatur; while I'm sure there will be someone to disagree with me; BUT they have an outstanding staff there. From Central Registration, to Outpatient Surgery, to the specialist offices, right down to the parking lot attendant... They have OUTSTANDING service. We all felt as though they cradled us like babies while under their care. I... kinda... liked it. :)
Scars
What I did discover though was a possible reason I have a scar above my port, separate form the actual port site. I thought they just accidentally cut me,...well they did, but it was explained that while they are fishing the tubing between the skin and tissue to access the large vein under the clavicle, they may puncture your skin along the way. It's what happened to her above the clavicle... in the lower part of the neck! She said her daughter had to clean her from the top of her head to her back from so much blood before leaving the hospital. Her port was placed by a Savannah hospital. So that's my guess to the additional scar I have. I don't know. Gotta remember to ask my surgeon when I see her in Jan.
Insurance
I have GREAT insurance now but have you guys heard of AFLAC? Their policies are off the chain. They have different coverages you can purchase but the one that sparked my interest was the Cancer Coverage. A friend of mine had told me about it after the fact but one of the ladies here has it and I just couldn't believe how it works. You pay your monthly premiums but if you ever need to use that coverage... they pay you. To actually be diagnosed with Cancer they send an excess of $10,000, every Chemo they send you money, daily radiation... you get money. WHAT! Everything you get done they take care of you. WOW! I'm thankful for the insurance I have but...DAMN! My co-pays are reasonable but I still got A LOT of them and yea they can add up. No worries though.
What's Left
22 radiation treatments left. Thank God! Treatments are fine but coming here everyday is working my gas tank and purse.
Scars
What I did discover though was a possible reason I have a scar above my port, separate form the actual port site. I thought they just accidentally cut me,...well they did, but it was explained that while they are fishing the tubing between the skin and tissue to access the large vein under the clavicle, they may puncture your skin along the way. It's what happened to her above the clavicle... in the lower part of the neck!
Insurance
I have GREAT insurance now but have you guys heard of AFLAC? Their policies are off the chain. They have different coverages you can purchase but the one that sparked my interest was the Cancer Coverage. A friend of mine had told me about it after the fact but one of the ladies here has it and I just couldn't believe how it works. You pay your monthly premiums but if you ever need to use that coverage... they pay you. To actually be diagnosed with Cancer they send an excess of $10,000, every Chemo they send you money, daily radiation... you get money. WHAT! Everything you get done they take care of you. WOW! I'm thankful for the insurance I have but...DAMN! My co-pays are reasonable but I still got A LOT of them and yea they can add up. No worries though.
What's Left
22 radiation treatments left. Thank God! Treatments are fine but coming here everyday is working my gas tank and purse.
Monday, November 29, 2010
Update
Thanksgiving was nice this year. Even though it was our first Thanksgiving without "G-G a.k.a grandma a.k.a Ruth Morton a.k.a shorty(this one was ours)," it went well for the most part. Every person seemed to have a positive vibe. Dinner was good but I did have a bit of a time eating... seems like I got a case of Strep. LOL! didn't matter... I wasn't going to overeat anyway. My daughter told me I was getting jiggly. WHAT! THE! %$@&! I've never been jiggly no matter how heavy I've been. Gotta start fixing it before it gets too far and my body betta keep up. That's it...NO MORE SETBACKS, NO MORE DR.'S ORDERS TO NOT WORKOUT, NO BOTHER WITH UNCOOPERATIVE ACHILLES TENDON AND GET BACK TO A P90X, JILLIAN MICHAELS workout CONDITION. I can't have Victoria or any other brand I wear screaming at me...V-I-C-T-Oooo-R-I-Aaaaaa lol.
There was an incident though Thanksgiving evening that did tick me, my husband and a few others off. Here is the condensed version. The kids, all cousins from age 2-16, were playing/ watching t.v. in a room. One of them got upset with my son and decided to find a pair of scissors come back and throw it at him. She missed him but just missed my daughter and my two nephews. NOW, you know I wanted to take of my belt and give a good ass old school Jamaican beat down... when I found out about it. Anyway, I gonna end that story here. This site is to inform you about my condition and treatments. BUT! :) If you want you can e mail or I.M. me for the story as I have it.
Radiation hiatus is over
Well today I went back to radiation therapy. Sierra had to come with me since she was a bit ill for school. With it being a bit cold and rainy and having a sick child with me, I was absolutely happy to find an available spot up front dedicated to radiation patients. My first time taking advantage of these spots. :D C waited in the front with the receptionist while I went to the back for treatment. Nothing changed really but I've been noticing my underarm getting tender... sore like I guess. It almost feels like with stretching my skin is tearing. When the team was getting my situated on the machine I mentioned it to them. They said it's normal and most likely will get worse and migrate to the breast. Their best advise... keep the area(s) dry and sleep with my arm up for air. LOL! It hurts to put it up but it'll get done. Shoot! If I'm going to workout the way I intend to I better be able to put that arm up. LOL!
Please support this
Please go to this link and purchase some raffle tickets. The proceeds go to a good cause. If you win it, the prize still goes to me..:D juusst kidding.
Fundraising Events | TurningPoint
myturningpoint.org
- Fabulous Three Bedroom Condo - April 5—12th, 2011 - Spring Break Week! - Island Links Resort by Coral Resorts - www.rebamanagement.com - Access to All of the Incredible Westin Hotel Amenities !
There was an incident though Thanksgiving evening that did tick me, my husband and a few others off. Here is the condensed version. The kids, all cousins from age 2-16, were playing/ watching t.v. in a room. One of them got upset with my son and decided to find a pair of scissors come back and throw it at him. She missed him but just missed my daughter and my two nephews. NOW, you know I wanted to take of my belt and give a good ass old school Jamaican beat down... when I found out about it. Anyway, I gonna end that story here. This site is to inform you about my condition and treatments. BUT! :) If you want you can e mail or I.M. me for the story as I have it.
Radiation hiatus is over
Well today I went back to radiation therapy. Sierra had to come with me since she was a bit ill for school. With it being a bit cold and rainy and having a sick child with me, I was absolutely happy to find an available spot up front dedicated to radiation patients. My first time taking advantage of these spots. :D C waited in the front with the receptionist while I went to the back for treatment. Nothing changed really but I've been noticing my underarm getting tender... sore like I guess. It almost feels like with stretching my skin is tearing. When the team was getting my situated on the machine I mentioned it to them. They said it's normal and most likely will get worse and migrate to the breast. Their best advise... keep the area(s) dry and sleep with my arm up for air. LOL! It hurts to put it up but it'll get done. Shoot! If I'm going to workout the way I intend to I better be able to put that arm up. LOL!
Please support this
Please go to this link and purchase some raffle tickets. The proceeds go to a good cause. If you win it, the prize still goes to me..:D juusst kidding.
Fundraising Events | TurningPoint
myturningpoint.org
- Fabulous Three Bedroom Condo - April 5—12th, 2011 - Spring Break Week! - Island Links Resort by Coral Resorts - www.rebamanagement.com - Access to All of the Incredible Westin Hotel Amenities !
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Thanksgiving Day
WOW! Last year this time I had a cast plastered to my right leg... this year I'm thankful to have beaten Cancer. :) Despite all the obstacles and challenges of the year I'm could never have made it so smoothly without my family, friends, care teams, and supporters. I love you all! I'm thankful for all of you and wish each and every one of you the BEST holiday season ever!
You know our time here is not promised to us. When cancer was thrown at me I realized many things. 1. I had to fight for what was mine (life) for now. I'm thankful for pulling through. 2. I have some really great friends. Even though communication with some have been next to null, they really came though when I needed them. I'm thankful having such bonds. 3. There was some; still a few incomplete; unfinished business I had with some people. I'm thankful for those resolved and look forward to resolving with others.
There are other things I'm thankful for but just wanted to put those out there. So you too can recognize unresolved issues that may be plaguing you. Make it right with family and friends.
Peace and blessings,
Mel
p.s. I didn't have to cook for today. :)) That hasn't happened in a long time.
You know our time here is not promised to us. When cancer was thrown at me I realized many things. 1. I had to fight for what was mine (life) for now. I'm thankful for pulling through. 2. I have some really great friends. Even though communication with some have been next to null, they really came though when I needed them. I'm thankful having such bonds. 3. There was some; still a few incomplete; unfinished business I had with some people. I'm thankful for those resolved and look forward to resolving with others.
There are other things I'm thankful for but just wanted to put those out there. So you too can recognize unresolved issues that may be plaguing you. Make it right with family and friends.
Peace and blessings,
Mel
p.s. I didn't have to cook for today. :)) That hasn't happened in a long time.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
What's Happening Now 2
Week 2 of radiation is complete. This Tuesday though, they took additional pics to make sure everything was still the same or better. Some small adjustments were made since I HAD lost a few pounds. UGH! I think I've gotten them back now though. LOL! After treatment, I took the pics to my doctor right upstairs. There he did another quick exam and I was finally out.
Friday
Again, after radiation I had to go see my other doctor... my oncologist this time. We went over my pathology reports again and he too was just as please as my surgeon with the results. Yea, I know... I got quiet a few doctors... just for now. He had said a while ago that I could take a break from my Herceptin but I decided to go ahead and keep it just about on track and did my infusion. I forgot how wiped out I feel after this one. WOW! So I just went home to bed.
Saturday
Went in to radiation 6 times this week. They didn't want us;me and the other patients; to fall too far behind on treatments due to the holidays, so they had us come in on Saturday. Nooo biggie! I will say though, I found out I was a favorite of one of the other ladies. Got no idea what makes me her favorite but I am she says. Maybe it's our common vanity. LOL! I don't know.
My Changes
Needless to say, I have experienced some changes in my body during this whole ordeal. The left side of "the team" is smaller and darker than the other. It also feels like a pregnant belly. lol. I kid you not! The lower side of it is just like feeling a firmness of a baby's back and the upper side is like where the limbs would be... softer and have some give to it. LOL! I hope that wasn't too much information for you all. Let's top it off... How about Penelope showed up again! I was so not looking for "it" anytime soon but "it" showed up. I surely enjoyed it during "it's" hiatus.
Friday
Again, after radiation I had to go see my other doctor... my oncologist this time. We went over my pathology reports again and he too was just as please as my surgeon with the results. Yea, I know... I got quiet a few doctors... just for now. He had said a while ago that I could take a break from my Herceptin but I decided to go ahead and keep it just about on track and did my infusion. I forgot how wiped out I feel after this one. WOW! So I just went home to bed.
Saturday
Went in to radiation 6 times this week. They didn't want us;me and the other patients; to fall too far behind on treatments due to the holidays, so they had us come in on Saturday. Nooo biggie! I will say though, I found out I was a favorite of one of the other ladies. Got no idea what makes me her favorite but I am she says. Maybe it's our common vanity. LOL! I don't know.
My Changes
Needless to say, I have experienced some changes in my body during this whole ordeal. The left side of "the team" is smaller and darker than the other. It also feels like a pregnant belly. lol. I kid you not! The lower side of it is just like feeling a firmness of a baby's back and the upper side is like where the limbs would be... softer and have some give to it. LOL! I hope that wasn't too much information for you all. Let's top it off... How about Penelope showed up again! I was so not looking for "it" anytime soon but "it" showed up. I surely enjoyed it during "it's" hiatus.
Saturday, November 13, 2010
First Week of Radiation
Got a new team of caretakers now. They are the radiation oncology front office, tech's,and nurses at Dekalb. I met the team on Monday when I was called in to have some pics taken. This session went pretty simple... but of course the usual process first. Take off everything from the waist up and put on a REAL hospital gown. I'm then escorted to a room where my body mold is going to be made, I get lined-up,marked, and stickered for radiation. Yup I got stickers on me... and they're supposed to stay put for the the next :) 40-50 days. lol. ok.
I had my first treatment the very next morning. It went fine. I'm going to sum the entire week with the same thing. It went fine.... You do the same thing everyday. :l
New Stuff
New care givers, new office, new Dr., and new patients (friends). There are a group of other ladies that seem to be regulars here with me. Though we've been cordial with each other we really didn't make conversation until Thursday; my third day of radiation. We all had to wait for the computer system to be repaired.
The actual machine was fine but the backup systems weren't responding to each other.... OK., fine, just as long as that's so and I don't get fried.
Our conversation ended up on our obvious link... Cancer! This may sound weird but it was nice to actually talk to others that shared my condition. Yea, I know I'm not alone but I never really got to talk to anyone ...like me. I won't bore you with the details but I will say,... it felt great being among like kinds. :-)
Wednesday
While waiting our turn for radiation, the ladies and I discussed our hair loss. Don't forget, initially loosing my hair was very hard for me. Now, I'm just used to it. It's also easier now to accept it since my hair is growing back. :-) I'm kinda liking it a little. It looks like fine baby hair... with a few and I do mean a few grays. :D Remember back in the day when all the girls wanted to comb down that fine hair in front of their hair line; some of em even jacked it up with gel; well I got a full head of that. Sorrieee! I got a bit off track from the hair loss discussion. Each of us told our horror story of this retched side effect from chemo. One lady lost nothing, the others were like me, but one shared a similar vanity. She considered herself ugly and alien like without any facial hair; eye brows and lashes. Don't judge us people! It IS hard looking at yourself like that. It's does seem so simple but ... it, it just ain't. Anyway, before I was called to the radiation room, I did something that I had only done for my immediate family. Apprehension started to grab a hold of me but I persevered and removed my wig, revealing my new hair. They loved it; thought it was cute; thought I was cute. I... felt... somewhat... stronger? about it. Like,.. yea... this is me and you can accept what you see... or not!... and it not have a negative impact on me. :) What a moment.
Please be active about your monthly breast exam, it could save your life.
Oh! I did put my wig back on and carried on though my day. Hopefully one day soon I'll be ready to walk around everywhere with my "new super short hair."
I had my first treatment the very next morning. It went fine. I'm going to sum the entire week with the same thing. It went fine.... You do the same thing everyday. :l
New Stuff
New care givers, new office, new Dr., and new patients (friends). There are a group of other ladies that seem to be regulars here with me. Though we've been cordial with each other we really didn't make conversation until Thursday; my third day of radiation. We all had to wait for the computer system to be repaired.
The actual machine was fine but the backup systems weren't responding to each other.... OK., fine, just as long as that's so and I don't get fried.
Our conversation ended up on our obvious link... Cancer! This may sound weird but it was nice to actually talk to others that shared my condition. Yea, I know I'm not alone but I never really got to talk to anyone ...like me. I won't bore you with the details but I will say,... it felt great being among like kinds. :-)
Wednesday
While waiting our turn for radiation, the ladies and I discussed our hair loss. Don't forget, initially loosing my hair was very hard for me. Now, I'm just used to it. It's also easier now to accept it since my hair is growing back. :-) I'm kinda liking it a little. It looks like fine baby hair... with a few and I do mean a few grays. :D Remember back in the day when all the girls wanted to comb down that fine hair in front of their hair line; some of em even jacked it up with gel; well I got a full head of that. Sorrieee! I got a bit off track from the hair loss discussion. Each of us told our horror story of this retched side effect from chemo. One lady lost nothing, the others were like me, but one shared a similar vanity. She considered herself ugly and alien like without any facial hair; eye brows and lashes. Don't judge us people! It IS hard looking at yourself like that. It's does seem so simple but ... it, it just ain't. Anyway, before I was called to the radiation room, I did something that I had only done for my immediate family. Apprehension started to grab a hold of me but I persevered and removed my wig, revealing my new hair. They loved it; thought it was cute; thought I was cute. I... felt... somewhat... stronger? about it. Like,.. yea... this is me and you can accept what you see... or not!... and it not have a negative impact on me. :) What a moment.
Please be active about your monthly breast exam, it could save your life.
Oh! I did put my wig back on and carried on though my day. Hopefully one day soon I'll be ready to walk around everywhere with my "new super short hair."
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Quicky with the Surgeon
Nothing funny here, this really was just a run in to see the surgeon and leave. I didn't have an appointment so I had to wait a bit this time. UGH! Today this kids are with me; schools are closed for Election Day. The nurse offered to put something on for them while I went to the back. "Great" I said cause CNN is not going to keep their attention. LOL!
Patient Room
You guys have been here so many times with me so I know you know the first the to go down. LOL! Yup, take off everything up top and put on the paper shirt. :)
Waiting, Waiting, waiting, waiting. so I went ahead and whipped out my Droid... played some games, looked at FB, checked some profiles, read e-mails, and even made a call. I wasn't going to be able to make it to my 2:30 class. The nurse stuck her head in to reassure me the kids were fine and the doctor was on her way. No Problem.
Finally she comes in apologetic for the delay. It was really no biggie to me other than missing my class. The nurse preps the needles, betadine, syringe, and bandage, and the doc does a quick exam of the fluid build up. She does a brainstorm of how often it seems I need to be drained, then start on me about exercising. For the first time in my life I've had a doctor require me to STOP working out. For some this would be a no big deal but for me it was. Since the ruptured Achilles last year to now, I've had to drastically reduce my workout and training regiment. Now, I have to stop completely. Outstanding! :( Well, at least it's temporary; just until my lymphatic system clamps back down.
As she's working I asked her about her response to my pathology. She confirmed that my results are highly unusual... NOT due to the fact that there was a second cancer present but the cells for both cancers were dead. "That is not something we see at all, that is unusual but amazing just the same. Guess the combination of drugs selected for you were the the best and did what they are to do. And you have such a positive attitude that helped you achieve such results....." I told her I thought it could be attributed to the Kangen water. She didn't knock it. Long story short, she would need the science behind it. :-) If anything more than that comes of that I'll let you know.
Patient Room
You guys have been here so many times with me so I know you know the first the to go down. LOL! Yup, take off everything up top and put on the paper shirt. :)
Waiting, Waiting, waiting, waiting. so I went ahead and whipped out my Droid... played some games, looked at FB, checked some profiles, read e-mails, and even made a call. I wasn't going to be able to make it to my 2:30 class. The nurse stuck her head in to reassure me the kids were fine and the doctor was on her way. No Problem.
Finally she comes in apologetic for the delay. It was really no biggie to me other than missing my class. The nurse preps the needles, betadine, syringe, and bandage, and the doc does a quick exam of the fluid build up. She does a brainstorm of how often it seems I need to be drained, then start on me about exercising. For the first time in my life I've had a doctor require me to STOP working out. For some this would be a no big deal but for me it was. Since the ruptured Achilles last year to now, I've had to drastically reduce my workout and training regiment. Now, I have to stop completely. Outstanding! :( Well, at least it's temporary; just until my lymphatic system clamps back down.
As she's working I asked her about her response to my pathology. She confirmed that my results are highly unusual... NOT due to the fact that there was a second cancer present but the cells for both cancers were dead. "That is not something we see at all, that is unusual but amazing just the same. Guess the combination of drugs selected for you were the the best and did what they are to do. And you have such a positive attitude that helped you achieve such results....." I told her I thought it could be attributed to the Kangen water. She didn't knock it. Long story short, she would need the science behind it. :-) If anything more than that comes of that I'll let you know.
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Simulation Day
Monday morning I decided to just go ahead in to surgeons office to get one of the doctors to drain this fluid from me...again. Just as I'm approaching the hospital I got a call from the hospital. They have a generic 770-501 number that makes it easy to identify them. It was the Radiation Oncology dept. wanting to confirm my apt for later in the afternoon. WAIT! WHAT! "I thought it was for tomorrow." ugh! now I had to change my entire day to adjust for my mistake. Too many appointments to keep up with I guess.
My 2 O'clock Similation
First I had to go upstairs to now see my Radiation Oncologist. Yup, I had to do the routine.... you guys should know it well by now as well. Take of everything from the waist up and put on the paper shirt/ gown. :) All he did was make some marks with some specialized pen for the techs downstairs to follow. That was simple. Now, to get dressed and head back downstairs to meet my meet my new team of caregivers.
Radiation Dept.
The receptionist is a really nice sista. We had a short but nice conversation before the tech came to get me. In the back I had to repeat the procedure. LOL! undress from the waist up... BUT this time I got a cloth gown. :D
The tech escorts me to room. This one reminds me of when I had my PET scan done. Don't think I blogged about it but the machine looks like a huge donought. Unlike the Pet Scan, this machine is a bit shorter in length. Anyway, the purpose of this visit is to make an upper body mold for me that will be used for the next 33-36 visits with them. The tech mixes a concoction for the mold, lays it on the machine where I would lay, and positions me on top of it. I'm guessing this part took about 20-30 minutes; not sure. She takes some scans, makes more marks on my chest and side, then we're done.
After all that I ran back upstairs to see my surgeon the get this fluid taken out. Unfortunate for me, she was still in surgery and wouldn't be able to do it. Come in tomorrow the nurse said, she's in the office. Surely!
My 2 O'clock Similation
First I had to go upstairs to now see my Radiation Oncologist. Yup, I had to do the routine.... you guys should know it well by now as well. Take of everything from the waist up and put on the paper shirt/ gown. :) All he did was make some marks with some specialized pen for the techs downstairs to follow. That was simple. Now, to get dressed and head back downstairs to meet my meet my new team of caregivers.
Radiation Dept.
The receptionist is a really nice sista. We had a short but nice conversation before the tech came to get me. In the back I had to repeat the procedure. LOL! undress from the waist up... BUT this time I got a cloth gown. :D
The tech escorts me to room. This one reminds me of when I had my PET scan done. Don't think I blogged about it but the machine looks like a huge donought. Unlike the Pet Scan, this machine is a bit shorter in length. Anyway, the purpose of this visit is to make an upper body mold for me that will be used for the next 33-36 visits with them. The tech mixes a concoction for the mold, lays it on the machine where I would lay, and positions me on top of it. I'm guessing this part took about 20-30 minutes; not sure. She takes some scans, makes more marks on my chest and side, then we're done.
After all that I ran back upstairs to see my surgeon the get this fluid taken out. Unfortunate for me, she was still in surgery and wouldn't be able to do it. Come in tomorrow the nurse said, she's in the office. Surely!
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Results 10/27/10
Alright, today I get the pathology results from my surgeon. I've been looking forward to this day for two reasons. 1- like I said, what else could they possibly tell me other than that I'm Cancer FREE, and 2- I seem to having a bit of swelling under the arm.
In the waiting room
Being here brings back so many negative memories for me, but this time I know I've got good news. What else could this doctor tell me other that that all the cancer is gone. So I chilled and looked at the pictures in the Good Housekeeping Magazine; even though I knew I was here to get good news I had no desire to actually read anything. I just needed to preoccupy my mind.
Nurse: Melissaaaa Merrick (with a smile this time)
In the patient room
At this point I think you guys should know how my drill goes... yea, undress from the waist up and put on the paper shirt. LOL! Fine.
The doctor comes in and asks "how are you doing." I could tell from her body language she had good news for me this time. "I'm fine,... just a lot of swelling under the arm but it's sounds like liquid in there." She said she'd take a look at it during the exam but first wanted to go over the pathology report. I just know she has good news this time... I can feel it!
In the waiting room
Being here brings back so many negative memories for me, but this time I know I've got good news. What else could this doctor tell me other that that all the cancer is gone. So I chilled and looked at the pictures in the Good Housekeeping Magazine; even though I knew I was here to get good news I had no desire to actually read anything. I just needed to preoccupy my mind.
Nurse: Melissaaaa Merrick (with a smile this time)
In the patient room
At this point I think you guys should know how my drill goes... yea, undress from the waist up and put on the paper shirt. LOL! Fine.
The doctor comes in and asks "how are you doing." I could tell from her body language she had good news for me this time. "I'm fine,... just a lot of swelling under the arm but it's sounds like liquid in there." She said she'd take a look at it during the exam but first wanted to go over the pathology report. I just know she has good news this time... I can feel it!
Monday, October 25, 2010
Flashbacks
Okay, so I'm sitting here in my truck this morning somewhat listening to Frank and Wanda argue about being the only high profile positive black influences in our community.... blah bla bla blah..blah blaahh. I'm at the intersection of hell that construction crews are trying relentlessly to correct; Hillandale Dr. and Dekalb Medical Pkwy, heading to the bank.
Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap. I'm patiently waiting for this older guy in front of me to take a chance and make his left turn. "Dude! you could have taken that one." Tap, tap, tap, tap. Being that I was second to turn, I was able to have good sight of the same traffic. I watched all the opportunities that I probably would have taken and wondered why the hell he wouldn't. Then I thought about my swollen and bruised boob and underarm. "Mel! maybe he's like me...slightly injured, or maybe he's just getting off work a bit sleepy and trying his best to not mess up the traffic flow,or maybe he's just not sure where he's going."
Somehow or another, while waiting for this man to turn my mind went back to several months ago. Right before I was diagnosed. A particular conversation with my mother-in-law is what came to me. In this conversation she reminded me that she and one of her nieces had to have a biopsy of the breast done and it turned out to be just a cyst. Then my thoughts jumped to our, mine and A.D.'s, immediate family's responses to "Mel has Cancer." My mom said "don't cry, we can beat this....." My mother-in-law gasped and said something like Sh*t! oh no, I'm sorry, you know we're hear for you.... My brother-in-law "F*ck! DAMN BRO! SH*T! NAWH ...." All the emotions of those days, those moments were so overwhelming. So much so that thinking about them; still waiting to make this turn; still brought tears to my eyes. Humph, I'm tearing up just as I write this as well. I need to stop here. Too much emotion... tears, rears,tears.
Love you all.
Good Night
Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap. I'm patiently waiting for this older guy in front of me to take a chance and make his left turn. "Dude!
Somehow or another, while waiting for this man to turn my mind went back to several months ago. Right before I was diagnosed. A particular conversation with my mother-in-law is what came to me. In this conversation she reminded me that she and one of her nieces had to have a biopsy of the breast done and it turned out to be just a cyst. Then my thoughts jumped to our, mine and A.D.'s, immediate family's responses to "Mel has Cancer." My mom said "don't cry, we can beat this....." My mother-in-law gasped and said something like Sh*t! oh no, I'm sorry, you know we're hear for you.... My brother-in-law "F*ck! DAMN BRO! SH*T! NAWH ...." All the emotions of those days, those moments were so overwhelming. So much so that thinking about them; still waiting to make this turn; still brought tears to my eyes. Humph, I'm tearing up just as I write this as well. I need to stop here. Too much emotion... tears, rears,tears.
Love you all.
Good Night
Thursday, October 21, 2010
After Surgery
Hi all,
Thanks so much for all the well wishes. They certainly light up my day and lift my spirits. I love you all and couldn't have made it through so smoothly without any of you. FYI- there are many more followers that support me but just don't wanna put their pics up. LOL! of course it's okay if you call, text, IM or email me instead. I'm open to just about all forms of communication.... wait if I get too close to my max txt limits we gotta choose something else. :D Verizon will get you on overages boy.
Well it's been 3 days since my surgery and I'm finally starting to feel better. Still a bit sore but not as bad. My doctor gave me Lortab for pain; YUP!, I took it even though popping pain pills isn't really my thing, and my body decided to have a little allergic reaction to it. WHAT! It shocked to heck outta me. Monday night I could hardly sleep due to the fact I was itchy EVERYWHERE! No part of my outer body was spared from the retched itch. I figured this is what a cat or dog would feel like if they had flees. There aren't too many things that can keep me from falling asleep but Lortab put an end to that.
I called my surgeon Tuesday morning about it and she recommended I take some Benadryl with it. Fine. I did, and I slept like a baby Tuesday night. Wednesday night, I did the same thing.... so why the hell was the Benydryl loosing. I took two of those suckas. OH! A.D. and I watched this movie last night named "Hot tub Time Machine" that was actually funny enough to keep me awake despite taking all those meds. LOL! He was shocked as well.
Wednesday, I realized I had little to no feeling in my upper left arm and underarm. From the elbow up felt like that numbing sensation you get when the dentist injects Novocaine in the cheeks and gum line. I know that there would be some nerve loss but I sure hope to regain a little more that what it is now.
Today is Thursday. I am so ready to get outta this house so I'm hitting the road. :) A.D. is driving Ms.Daisy... again. LOL!
Peace and Love
Mel
Thanks so much for all the well wishes. They certainly light up my day and lift my spirits. I love you all and couldn't have made it through so smoothly without any of you. FYI- there are many more followers that support me but just don't wanna put their pics up. LOL! of course it's okay if you call, text, IM or email me instead. I'm open to just about all forms of communication.... wait if I get too close to my max txt limits we gotta choose something else. :D Verizon will get you on overages boy.
Well it's been 3 days since my surgery and I'm finally starting to feel better. Still a bit sore but not as bad. My doctor gave me Lortab for pain; YUP!, I took it even though popping pain pills isn't really my thing, and my body decided to have a little allergic reaction to it. WHAT! It shocked to heck outta me. Monday night I could hardly sleep due to the fact I was itchy EVERYWHERE! No part of my outer body was spared from the retched itch. I figured this is what a cat or dog would feel like if they had flees. There aren't too many things that can keep me from falling asleep but Lortab put an end to that.
I called my surgeon Tuesday morning about it and she recommended I take some Benadryl with it. Fine. I did, and I slept like a baby Tuesday night. Wednesday night, I did the same thing.... so why the hell was the Benydryl loosing. I took two of those suckas. OH! A.D. and I watched this movie last night named "Hot tub Time Machine" that was actually funny enough to keep me awake despite taking all those meds. LOL! He was shocked as well.
Wednesday, I realized I had little to no feeling in my upper left arm and underarm. From the elbow up felt like that numbing sensation you get when the dentist injects Novocaine in the cheeks and gum line. I know that there would be some nerve loss but I sure hope to regain a little more that what it is now.
Today is Thursday. I am so ready to get outta this house so I'm hitting the road. :) A.D. is driving Ms.Daisy... again. LOL!
Peace and Love
Mel
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Surgery Day
I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready.... I'm ready. Just convincing myself that I am, but truthfully.... I'm don't want another surgery. I've had enough! Guess this is one of those necessary evils. UGH! Cancer is a BITCH!
The Night Before
I didn't eat anything after midnight and put the antinausea patch behind my ear as instructed. Put my jammies on and went to bed. One problem, I wasn't able to fall asleep and stay there. I kept having some sort of weird dreams. Needless to say it wasn't till close to the time to get up that I was in a deep sleep. Ok fine, I'll just take a quick nap while I'm in triage waiting. That'll work for me.
At the Hospital
Comprehensive Breast Center
We (my husband, mother and I) got to Dekalb about 5 minutes late. My girlfriend Susie met us there. She came to be supportive. Thanks Lady. :)
First part of the morning began with visit from radiologist and his nurse. The nurse took some pics with the mammogram machine. NOPE! I don't know what it's technical name is. The nurse, doctor, and I were please at how much the tumor had shrunk. Now, he had to place a long wire thing into my breast in order for the surgen to easily identify the area being removed. He calls himself tryna numb up the are but even that med burned. After placing the wire where it needed to be, they taped a styrofoam cup around it. NOooo not my breast, I got toooo much to fit in there. LOL. Just the wire that's sticking out. Doc make small talk with us and orders a wheelchair for my transport over to the Outpatient Surgery Building.
Outpatient Surgery Building
I ended up in room #16... The same room my mother was in last week Tuesday. Talk about de ja vu. humph...Here I got dressed in another hospial gown, used the facilities, and got my vitals taken. Dr. R; my surgeon; came to explain the procedure. She plans on making an incesion under the breast to remove the tumor and another under the arm... But! she plans to remove all the lymph nodes under arm. She explains that I will never be able to have my blood pressure, needles or anything restrictive on that left arm again. It would cause another condition call Lymphedema. OUTSTANDING!
Operating Room
The staff rolls me to O.R.#6. Damn! wasn't I just here!!?? The room is just as I remembered it. Few staff members bustling around getting ready for me. The anisthesiologist says to me "you'll be out shortly." As soon as I felt myself drifting I said to him "see you later, I'm leaving now." He turns to me and he chuckles... "yes you are."
Surgery Complete
Of course I have no recollection of what had happened around me. All I knew was that my throat was sore/ dry as heck and my upper left side was in a lot of pain. The nurse hooked me up with some painkillers, went over the discharge, and sent me on my way.
At home
No lie, I went straight to bed... with a some help from A.D. cause I was still too drugged up to make it up the stairs by myself. LOL! we all just relaxed for the rest of the evening... At least that's what I remember.
The Night Before
I didn't eat anything after midnight and put the antinausea patch behind my ear as instructed. Put my jammies on and went to bed. One problem, I wasn't able to fall asleep and stay there. I kept having some sort of weird dreams. Needless to say it wasn't till close to the time to get up that I was in a deep sleep. Ok fine, I'll just take a quick nap while I'm in triage waiting. That'll work for me.
At the Hospital
Comprehensive Breast Center
We (my husband, mother and I) got to Dekalb about 5 minutes late. My girlfriend Susie met us there. She came to be supportive. Thanks Lady. :)
First part of the morning began with visit from radiologist and his nurse. The nurse took some pics with the mammogram machine. NOPE! I don't know what it's technical name is. The nurse, doctor, and I were please at how much the tumor had shrunk. Now, he had to place a long wire thing into my breast in order for the surgen to easily identify the area being removed. He calls himself tryna numb up the are but even that med burned. After placing the wire where it needed to be, they taped a styrofoam cup around it. NOooo not my breast, I got toooo much to fit in there. LOL. Just the wire that's sticking out. Doc make small talk with us and orders a wheelchair for my transport over to the Outpatient Surgery Building.
Outpatient Surgery Building
I ended up in room #16... The same room my mother was in last week Tuesday. Talk about de ja vu. humph...Here I got dressed in another hospial gown, used the facilities, and got my vitals taken. Dr. R; my surgeon; came to explain the procedure. She plans on making an incesion under the breast to remove the tumor and another under the arm... But! she plans to remove all the lymph nodes under arm. She explains that I will never be able to have my blood pressure, needles or anything restrictive on that left arm again. It would cause another condition call Lymphedema. OUTSTANDING!
Operating Room
The staff rolls me to O.R.#6. Damn! wasn't I just here!!?? The room is just as I remembered it. Few staff members bustling around getting ready for me. The anisthesiologist says to me "you'll be out shortly." As soon as I felt myself drifting I said to him "see you later, I'm leaving now." He turns to me and he chuckles... "yes you are."
Surgery Complete
Of course I have no recollection of what had happened around me. All I knew was that my throat was sore/ dry as heck and my upper left side was in a lot of pain. The nurse hooked me up with some painkillers, went over the discharge, and sent me on my way.
At home
No lie, I went straight to bed... with a some help from A.D. cause I was still too drugged up to make it up the stairs by myself. LOL! we all just relaxed for the rest of the evening... At least that's what I remember.
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Lumpectomy
It's Sunday October 17th, and I'm up for the next surgery. Tomorrow morning I'm to be at Dekalb Medical lumpectomy. Lumpectomy is a procedure where they remove only the affected area of the breast.
How I'm feeling
This morning the family and I were actually able to sleep late. So glad for that. :) The only thing I really wanted/ needed to do was
1) clean my truck, that was a want
2) to the laundry, that's a need... cha
3) cook, guess that's a need
4) do my toenails, that's a need! WHAT! :D)
well I got some of this stuff done, we actually ended up spending the day catching up on The Avatar. No not the blue people from Pandora but the Last Airbender the cartoon.... the movie SUCKED!!!!!
Today I went though so many emotions. One moment I feel teary, next agitated, to solem, not really happy today. Guess I just want this surgery to be over. It's now 12:30 a.m. so I better get some kinda rest for later.
XXXX
How I'm feeling
This morning the family and I were actually able to sleep late. So glad for that. :) The only thing I really wanted/ needed to do was
1) clean my truck, that was a want
2) to the laundry, that's a need... cha
3) cook, guess that's a need
4) do my toenails, that's a need! WHAT! :D)
well I got some of this stuff done, we actually ended up spending the day catching up on The Avatar. No not the blue people from Pandora but the Last Airbender the cartoon.... the movie SUCKED!!!!!
Today I went though so many emotions. One moment I feel teary, next agitated, to solem, not really happy today. Guess I just want this surgery to be over. It's now 12:30 a.m. so I better get some kinda rest for later.
XXXX
Friday, October 15, 2010
Me and my Cookie
OK, so I was gonna just let everyone know that I didn't have surgery today as planned but got something better for you to read. Surgery had to be rescheduled to Monday cause some personal issues came up with my surgeon. Hopefully this the last procedure as such for me. Anyway, I was checking FB before I updated you guys and came across... a blog about me. Check it out, it's written by a friend of mine.
Inspired By Skittles...
I have a friend, a friend for about 19 + years and counting. Though we haven't seen each other in a long long LONG time I still regard her as someone very special in my life. We met through our mothers who were close. And through their closeness we become close.
She was a popular girl entering Junior High School with many friends and I started with none. She was kind enough to stick close to me as a new girl starting out and introduce me to her friends so we can all become friends and I wouldn't feel alone. Unfortunately we didn't graduate J.H.S together because she left New York and moved to Georgia with her family. Even though we now had some miles in between us, I was glad that throughout the years we have still remained a part of each others lives so much so that I was honored to witness the union of her marriage to her husband as a bridesmaid in her wedding about 10+ years ago.
Well, that's our history. Here we are 2010. I wake up one morning early because I couldn't sleep and went on Facebook to see what everyone was up to (don't judge me, you know you do it too). I saw that she posted something on Facebook that made me sit up in my bed. She was diagnosed with Breast Cancer. I could barely get through reading the post without my hands shaking and tears streaming down my face...who am I kidding I was bawling. Partly because I wasn't there with her & the other part because I was fearing the whatifs ( I won't even go there). I'm tearing up just writing this so I will stop now because I just can't...
She talks about her journey in her blog HERE. But in case you don't get a chance to read it just know that she is OK...she is a survivor...she is blessed...she is alive...she is kicking butt (literally)...and she is Awesome.. and she is STILL my friend.
So I dedicate this inspiration board to her...my friend Melissa. For just being the her!
In this section of Cookie's blog, she shows some of her Pink work. BEAUTIFUL stuff
http://alittlebitathis.blogspot.com/2010/10/inspired-by-skittles.html
Inspired By Skittles...
I have a friend, a friend for about 19 + years and counting. Though we haven't seen each other in a long long LONG time I still regard her as someone very special in my life. We met through our mothers who were close. And through their closeness we become close.
She was a popular girl entering Junior High School with many friends and I started with none. She was kind enough to stick close to me as a new girl starting out and introduce me to her friends so we can all become friends and I wouldn't feel alone. Unfortunately we didn't graduate J.H.S together because she left New York and moved to Georgia with her family. Even though we now had some miles in between us, I was glad that throughout the years we have still remained a part of each others lives so much so that I was honored to witness the union of her marriage to her husband as a bridesmaid in her wedding about 10+ years ago.
Well, that's our history. Here we are 2010. I wake up one morning early because I couldn't sleep and went on Facebook to see what everyone was up to (don't judge me, you know you do it too). I saw that she posted something on Facebook that made me sit up in my bed. She was diagnosed with Breast Cancer. I could barely get through reading the post without my hands shaking and tears streaming down my face...who am I kidding I was bawling. Partly because I wasn't there with her & the other part because I was fearing the whatifs ( I won't even go there). I'm tearing up just writing this so I will stop now because I just can't...
She talks about her journey in her blog HERE. But in case you don't get a chance to read it just know that she is OK...she is a survivor...she is blessed...she is alive...she is kicking butt (literally)...and she is Awesome.. and she is STILL my friend.
So I dedicate this inspiration board to her...my friend Melissa. For just being the her!
In this section of Cookie's blog, she shows some of her Pink work. BEAUTIFUL stuff
http://alittlebitathis.blogspot.com/2010/10/inspired-by-skittles.html
Sunday, October 3, 2010
What's Happening Now
Hey guys,
Thank you all for reading. I truly appreciate it and love each and every one of you for your unwavering support. xoxoxox
September 22
Today I met with my surgeon again. The nurse come to get us as usual and take us back to a patient room... BUT! it's the same room where our live were first turned upside down by Cancer. UGH! It is just a room but I can't help but feel a bit of animosity towards it,... towards being here. Shit, it's just a room right? On with the routine... remove all clothing on the top and put on the waist length paper gown. LOL! they don't even have to tell me anymore.
A few minutes later there was a little knock and in comes my doctor. Everything about her is so personable.
She inquires about how I handled my treatments, then moves on to the next step that involves her. Surgery. With the exam she just did, and the great shrinkage of the tumor; she anticipates nothing more than a lumpectomy. YEAaaaa! I get to keep MY boobies. :D Surgery is scheduled for October 15th.
September 30th
Another appointment with a new doctor. A Radiation Oncologist. A little research shows that he's one of Atlanta's top in his specialty. He's a very nice, "sweet", informed, and informative kinda guy. What he plans is to start radiation therapy about 3-4 weeks after the surgery. Why is radiation needed? Trust me I had the same question. Well, while the chemo goes through the entire body to shrink any other possible cancer cells, the radiation is very targeted to the affected area for any stray tumors. This treatment will be done daily for 5-6 weeks, and by the 3rd or 4th week he says I'll have some darkening of the skin. hump! glad it's the time of year to cover up.
Confession
In an embrace, my husband reveals to me that he's happy I get to keep the girls... typical... right? LOL! Of course I'm happy about that as well. Then he goes and adds that he's grateful he gets to keep me as well. HUH! Where in the world did that come from I wondered. Come to find out before we were given the full depth of my condition and treatment plan, my husband thought he was/ could be loosing me to this Bitch. Him saying that was like another realization of how lucky I am to have him, my kids, and my family. I love them dearly even though they each take turns getting on my nerves. What doesn't know is that the same thing that once concerned him also tore at me. For days I wondered if this was how it was gonna end for me. There was so much to be done, so much undone. How could I exit this world now? Then we get informed and I say "Thank You Lord."
Thank you all for reading. I truly appreciate it and love each and every one of you for your unwavering support. xoxoxox
September 22
Today I met with my surgeon again. The nurse come to get us as usual and take us back to a patient room... BUT! it's the same room where our live were first turned upside down by Cancer. UGH! It is just a room but I can't help but feel a bit of animosity towards it,... towards being here. Shit, it's just a room right? On with the routine... remove all clothing on the top and put on the waist length paper gown. LOL! they don't even have to tell me anymore.
A few minutes later there was a little knock and in comes my doctor. Everything about her is so personable.
She inquires about how I handled my treatments, then moves on to the next step that involves her. Surgery. With the exam she just did, and the great shrinkage of the tumor; she anticipates nothing more than a lumpectomy. YEAaaaa! I get to keep MY boobies. :D Surgery is scheduled for October 15th.
September 30th
Another appointment with a new doctor. A Radiation Oncologist. A little research shows that he's one of Atlanta's top in his specialty. He's a very nice, "sweet", informed, and informative kinda guy. What he plans is to start radiation therapy about 3-4 weeks after the surgery. Why is radiation needed? Trust me I had the same question. Well, while the chemo goes through the entire body to shrink any other possible cancer cells, the radiation is very targeted to the affected area for any stray tumors. This treatment will be done daily for 5-6 weeks, and by the 3rd or 4th week he says I'll have some darkening of the skin. hump! glad it's the time of year to cover up.
Confession
In an embrace, my husband reveals to me that he's happy I get to keep the girls... typical... right? LOL! Of course I'm happy about that as well. Then he goes and adds that he's grateful he gets to keep me as well. HUH! Where in the world did that come from I wondered. Come to find out before we were given the full depth of my condition and treatment plan, my husband thought he was/ could be loosing me to this Bitch. Him saying that was like another realization of how lucky I am to have him, my kids, and my family. I love them dearly even though they each take turns getting on my nerves. What doesn't know is that the same thing that once concerned him also tore at me. For days I wondered if this was how it was gonna end for me. There was so much to be done, so much undone. How could I exit this world now? Then we get informed and I say "Thank You Lord."
Saturday, September 25, 2010
Kat's Cafe
Ok. So things are going pretty smoothly for me right now and we're all very thankful for that.
My Invite
For a while now, an old friend of mine has been inviting me out to see him and his band perform. I've had very good intention of making at least one performance and promised him many times that I was coming, but something always came up. Well, guess he fool proofed this one. Dwan! I know you're reading... you finally got me this time. LOL! About two weeks ago I received a REQUEST... no longer an invite from Dwan to speak; during intermission; about breast cancer and stir up a little awareness about it. Trust me! I had just about every intention on denying this request simply cause this condition is still fresh for me. I hadn't been given that "you're in remission" talk yet... Shit! I still got A LOT more treatments to go. No, not chemo but there's surgery, radiation, and about 10 months left of Herceptin.
The jist of our Conversation
He informs me that he dedicates at least one show per month towards breast cancer awareness. Reason being that his grandmother had passed last year from this disease and he made her a promise to fight for the cause. My speaking on the subject would mean so much to him and his family, he says. Y'all he really worked this conversation to make sure I would do it... and I did. Yea, there were other influenced that encouraged me to go through with this, including my surgeon.
Friday
After dropping the kids at school and making my Friday morning doctors appointment, I went back home to work on my speech for the evening. It wasn't till then I realized exactly how nervous I was. For those who hang around me know that I usually don't have a problem speaking in front of crowds, it's just that now I'm being asked to talk about my cancer. Well, if I mess up all I have to do is what was advised to me... go into my element and break out with some Choi Kwang Do moves. LOL! I'm sure that will leave the crowd baffled. LOL
The Show
This guy Dwan is baaad as eva on the sax. Awesome night. A.D., my mom, Ericka, and Susie came out to support me. :) My time on the stage didn't quiet go as planned but it went well enough. I hated that I didn't get to tell a better story about my hair loss with Trey's tree analogy. If you need a refresher on this story just go back to "Hair Cutting Time." OMG! Once I exited the stage, it's like I became a mini celeb. LOL! Quiet a few people came over to show some love and support,... including my girl Nekori who I had no idea was going to be there. She's been following my stories and secretly decided to come out to support me. I know you reading to Nekori... Thanks :)
That was pretty much it for the evening and guess I did Dwan proud. He's tryna get me to come to another show of his to tell my story again.
My Invite
For a while now, an old friend of mine has been inviting me out to see him and his band perform. I've had very good intention of making at least one performance and promised him many times that I was coming, but something always came up. Well, guess he fool proofed this one. Dwan! I know you're reading... you finally got me this time. LOL! About two weeks ago I received a REQUEST... no longer an invite from Dwan to speak; during intermission; about breast cancer and stir up a little awareness about it. Trust me! I had just about every intention on denying this request simply cause this condition is still fresh for me. I hadn't been given that "you're in remission" talk yet... Shit! I still got A LOT more treatments to go. No, not chemo but there's surgery, radiation, and about 10 months left of Herceptin.
The jist of our Conversation
He informs me that he dedicates at least one show per month towards breast cancer awareness. Reason being that his grandmother had passed last year from this disease and he made her a promise to fight for the cause. My speaking on the subject would mean so much to him and his family, he says. Y'all he really worked this conversation to make sure I would do it... and I did. Yea, there were other influenced that encouraged me to go through with this, including my surgeon.
Friday
After dropping the kids at school and making my Friday morning doctors appointment, I went back home to work on my speech for the evening. It wasn't till then I realized exactly how nervous I was. For those who hang around me know that I usually don't have a problem speaking in front of crowds, it's just that now I'm being asked to talk about my cancer. Well, if I mess up all I have to do is what was advised to me... go into my element and break out with some Choi Kwang Do moves. LOL! I'm sure that will leave the crowd baffled. LOL
The Show
This guy Dwan is baaad as eva on the sax. Awesome night. A.D., my mom, Ericka, and Susie came out to support me. :) My time on the stage didn't quiet go as planned but it went well enough. I hated that I didn't get to tell a better story about my hair loss with Trey's tree analogy. If you need a refresher on this story just go back to "Hair Cutting Time." OMG! Once I exited the stage, it's like I became a mini celeb. LOL! Quiet a few people came over to show some love and support,... including my girl Nekori who I had no idea was going to be there. She's been following my stories and secretly decided to come out to support me. I know you reading to Nekori... Thanks :)
That was pretty much it for the evening and guess I did Dwan proud. He's tryna get me to come to another show of his to tell my story again.
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Last Chemo 09/03/10
Excited this morning but.... hhmmmm, still reluctant. I'm sure you can somewhat relate. It's that bonus that's you're expecting but you still gotta do a job you dislike, that new car you got but damn sure don't want the payment, that slice of Red Velvet with a ton of calories, it's NOT wanting to get up Saturday morning to let the dog out but you know if you don't.... well, you know they may leave a package for you. So you feel me; I'm glad this day is finally here but shit!... I'm tired of the needled, the nausea, the loss of appetite, the loss of time with my family, and surely tired of being tired. Literally!
At the Office
Ms. M already started with the "congratulations, you made it" as I stuck my head from behind the door. Alright! I can't deny it, it felt good to reach this stage of treatment. My last infusion of Taxotere, Carboplatin,Herceptin,Decadron and pre-meds. OH how much I will NOT miss thee.
While I was waiting for A.D. to bring me some breakfast, another patient comes in and plops himself next to me and the lady that accompanied him sat at the table. I was kinda annoyed but oh well. Guess A.D. ain't the patient,... this guy is. My last treatment my husband will have to sit at the table and not be at my side. humph! iight. So I simply smile and put on my nice face for him. :)
This guys turns out to be a sweetheart. The lab nurses had a difficult time locating a good vein in him so it was up to our charge nurse to handle it. While he waited, he decided to strike up a little conversation with me. "I ain't never been sick before, and don't know why I'm here" was his claim. I remembered, even though I was getting a groggy from my meds. "I think I'm leaving, bout to get outta here" was his next claim but I said to him how will you get better if you leave. Just as I said that to him, the lady he came with said "you betta keep planted in that chair" and I couldn't help but chuckle. He scooted back so fast he reminded me of a that got busted tryna break loose. LOL! He soon realized I was falling asleep and let me be.
Our nurse came out with her cart full of needles. OMG! My new friend cringed like a little kid. Needless to say, I couldn't fall asleep on him now. What a struggle for me at that point. You know what a teaspoon on Benadryl does to a kid, I get a bag full. I tried my best to calm him down with small talk but the minute he felt the prick of the needle, our conversation was null. After all that drama, he still wasn't able to get treated cause his veins wouldn't accept a needle.
In the patient room with the doctor
All went well with my treatment today. I'm tired and ready to go home but first, I gotta visit my doctor. I think we just talked about about the next steps of treatment. I was to schedule to see the surgeon again, the same one that placed my port, to determine how invasive of a surgery would be done.
That appointment is scheduled for September 22,2010. I'll keep you guys informed.
Peace and Love :)
At the Office
Ms. M already started with the "congratulations, you made it" as I stuck my head from behind the door. Alright! I can't deny it, it felt good to reach this stage of treatment. My last infusion of Taxotere, Carboplatin,Herceptin,Decadron and pre-meds. OH how much I will NOT miss thee.
While I was waiting for A.D. to bring me some breakfast, another patient comes in and plops himself next to me and the lady that accompanied him sat at the table. I was kinda annoyed but oh well. Guess A.D. ain't the patient,... this guy is. My last treatment my husband will have to sit at the table and not be at my side. humph! iight. So I simply smile and put on my nice face for him. :)
This guys turns out to be a sweetheart. The lab nurses had a difficult time locating a good vein in him so it was up to our charge nurse to handle it. While he waited, he decided to strike up a little conversation with me. "I ain't never been sick before, and don't know why I'm here" was his claim. I remembered, even though I was getting a groggy from my meds. "I think I'm leaving, bout to get outta here" was his next claim but I said to him how will you get better if you leave. Just as I said that to him, the lady he came with said "you betta keep planted in that chair" and I couldn't help but chuckle. He scooted back so fast he reminded me of a that got busted tryna break loose. LOL! He soon realized I was falling asleep and let me be.
Our nurse came out with her cart full of needles. OMG! My new friend cringed like a little kid. Needless to say, I couldn't fall asleep on him now. What a struggle for me at that point. You know what a teaspoon on Benadryl does to a kid, I get a bag full. I tried my best to calm him down with small talk but the minute he felt the prick of the needle, our conversation was null. After all that drama, he still wasn't able to get treated cause his veins wouldn't accept a needle.
In the patient room with the doctor
All went well with my treatment today. I'm tired and ready to go home but first, I gotta visit my doctor. I think we just talked about about the next steps of treatment. I was to schedule to see the surgeon again, the same one that placed my port, to determine how invasive of a surgery would be done.
That appointment is scheduled for September 22,2010. I'll keep you guys informed.
Peace and Love :)
Saturday, September 4, 2010
Realization 09/02/10
Ok, So I've got this one last Chemo tomorrow. Yea, I'm so looking forward to it... for the most part at least.
While taking my shower I realized that this is be the end of so much drama for me.
No more
-Cancer
-sickness/ nausea
- tiredness from nothing/ no activity
-chemo darkened fingernails, tongue, and skin
-body aches
-unwanted bald head. Though I did like jumping in the shower w/o a cap and not worry about getting my hair wet.
-missing brows and lashes. I swear I was looking like a Hershey's drop with eyes. LOL!
-dryness. Skin, mouth, and girlfriend places. Yup! Chemo gets it all.
-loss of appetite. The easiest thing for me to digest was fish tea (Jamaican brew).
Don't get me wrong, all of it wasn't bad.
I do like
- Having my tumor shrunk
- NOT getting my monthly visits from Penelope. what girl wouldn't
- not shaving ANYTHING! Everything was as soft as a baby's boody. LOL!
-having stronger nails
This whole venture has also given me a greater perspective on life. I thought about what and who is truly important to me. It let me open up for forgiving,... NEVER forgetting the wrongs of my life. Life is great! and I want all the good it has in store for me.
While taking my shower I realized that this is be the end of so much drama for me.
No more
-Cancer
-sickness/ nausea
- tiredness from nothing/ no activity
-chemo darkened fingernails, tongue, and skin
-body aches
-unwanted bald head. Though I did like jumping in the shower w/o a cap and not worry about getting my hair wet.
-missing brows and lashes. I swear I was looking like a Hershey's drop with eyes. LOL!
-dryness. Skin, mouth, and girlfriend places. Yup! Chemo gets it all.
-loss of appetite. The easiest thing for me to digest was fish tea (Jamaican brew).
Don't get me wrong, all of it wasn't bad.
I do like
- Having my tumor shrunk
- NOT getting my monthly visits from Penelope. what girl wouldn't
- not shaving ANYTHING! Everything was as soft as a baby's boody. LOL!
-having stronger nails
This whole venture has also given me a greater perspective on life. I thought about what and who is truly important to me. It let me open up for forgiving,... NEVER forgetting the wrongs of my life. Life is great! and I want all the good it has in store for me.
Friday, September 3, 2010
Week of 08/30/2010
Lot's of positive happened this week.
#1. I finally got to test for my EE Dan (2nd degree black belt). For those who don't know why this was so important for me, here's the condensed version on the story. December of 2009 we; me, A.D., and Trey; were scheduled to test together for this belt. During a training session with A.D. and Mark; another friend testing for the same belt; I ruptured my Achilles Tendon in my right leg. THREE WEEKS BEFORE MY TEST! I was ever so disappointed. Anyway, I was able to get permission from Head Quarters for a private testing. Completed it Monday evening and got my new belt as well. Poor thing had been on the wall so long it was dusty.
#2. Friday is my final Chemo. Now, if you've read all the blogs you know that I was diagnosed with this while I was in physical therapy for my Achilles. I was still recovering from that and starting to train again for my impending Dan test. Now the end is here and I'm so looking forward to it. I DON'T LIKE BEING SICK! I DON'T LIKE THE CHANGES I'VE EXPERIENCED... except maybe 3 of them :), and I DON'T LIKE NOT BEING IN CONTROL.
#3. My husband is doing really well with the Kangen Water system and Natura Burst. Well being products. Tehy even seems to help my recover faster from my treatments and even helped my Chemo darkened skin return to it's natural chocolate complexion. :) Web page for this coming soon.
#4. I spoke to an old friend, one that I swore I never would cause they really hurt me back when. The conversation, via FB, went smoother than I anticipated and allowed me to release my hidden resentment. I say hidden cause I was sure I had rid myself of it a LONG time ago but they said something to me the truly counted..."I apologize......" Wow!
#5. I recently got up the nerve to go ahead and get my pics taken. Instead of my original planned outfits; I'll sport 2 different Cancer outfits, 1 all pink skirt and top, 1 white tank and jeans, and the other I'm still open. Any suggestions?
#1. I finally got to test for my EE Dan (2nd degree black belt). For those who don't know why this was so important for me, here's the condensed version on the story. December of 2009 we; me, A.D., and Trey; were scheduled to test together for this belt. During a training session with A.D. and Mark; another friend testing for the same belt; I ruptured my Achilles Tendon in my right leg. THREE WEEKS BEFORE MY TEST! I was ever so disappointed. Anyway, I was able to get permission from Head Quarters for a private testing. Completed it Monday evening and got my new belt as well. Poor thing had been on the wall so long it was dusty.
#2. Friday is my final Chemo. Now, if you've read all the blogs you know that I was diagnosed with this while I was in physical therapy for my Achilles. I was still recovering from that and starting to train again for my impending Dan test. Now the end is here and I'm so looking forward to it. I DON'T LIKE BEING SICK! I DON'T LIKE THE CHANGES I'VE EXPERIENCED... except maybe 3 of them :), and I DON'T LIKE NOT BEING IN CONTROL.
#3. My husband is doing really well with the Kangen Water system and Natura Burst. Well being products. Tehy even seems to help my recover faster from my treatments and even helped my Chemo darkened skin return to it's natural chocolate complexion. :) Web page for this coming soon.
#4. I spoke to an old friend, one that I swore I never would cause they really hurt me back when. The conversation, via FB, went smoother than I anticipated and allowed me to release my hidden resentment. I say hidden cause I was sure I had rid myself of it a LONG time ago but they said something to me the truly counted..."I apologize......" Wow!
#5. I recently got up the nerve to go ahead and get my pics taken. Instead of my original planned outfits; I'll sport 2 different Cancer outfits, 1 all pink skirt and top, 1 white tank and jeans, and the other I'm still open. Any suggestions?
Thursday, September 2, 2010
OMG! where have you been?
Hey guys, I am sooooo sorry I have NOT been keeping you posted. Most of you all have either called me or text me, or just straight showed up at my door. :)
Well,for those who don't know, here is a quick fill in.
Chemo #4
It went just as well as the others. I get tired as crap for the first 4-5 days after. This particular Friday though, my lab nurse informed me I had a temp of 99.8. Funny, I felt fine. My doctor then put my on some antibiotics and said I should be ok. All I had to do is take the pills and wear one of those surgical masks. OUTSTANDING! Of course, since I didn't feel sick, I didn't take the antibiotics as told. When I got home, I took my temp again and it said 97.8... so that's good... right? So, I called them up and told them just that. :D ThEEeey agreed that I didn't have to take the pills. Y'all!... that evening... my body turned on me. The fever was on me like nobody's business so I had to oblige and take the antibiotics.
Saturday morning
Today we are were celebrating Trey's 11th birthday. He's finally getting that pool party he's always wanted. Only thing is that this fever just about has me immobile. Long Story short. I had to end up calling my doctor that afternoon cause it wouldn't break and I felt like crap. OH! did I mention that I had a smoothie the night before that accidentally had too much wheat grass in it. hhmmm never again will I make that mistake. :D To my delight my doctor was on call and had me double up on the antibiotics and take some Tylenol, temp was was 102.8. By chance this concoction didn't succeed, "you're going to have to be admitted to the hospital." It worked :) Unfortunately, I still missed my son's party. :(
My Birthday- 1 day After Chemo #5
Never thought I would be celebrating my birthday with Cancer. Nonetheless, I am. Usually I'm pretty tired but I'm determined to make this day work for all of us. My mom had a BBQ at her place for me. For whatever reason, I decided to shower over there. idk. Today's outfit are some black Dereon jeans with my pink Rocawear shirt and my B.C. flip flops. NOT BAD for a 35 yr old. :) So why the heck was I in tears a few moments later. I cried my eyes out cause Chemo stolen half of each of my eyebrows and even more lashes... and it happened like overnight. Promise! they were fine the day before. One after the other, Chemo continues to steel from me. UGH! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! My sister came soon after and said "girl, we just gone do some fake lashes and draw some cute brows." Cool... BUT THEY AIN'T F'ING MINE!!!! After my little melt down, I went downstairs to enjoy my day. Chilled in a spot mom reserved for me, played a little Band Hero, and even ate a little something.
Well,for those who don't know, here is a quick fill in.
Chemo #4
It went just as well as the others. I get tired as crap for the first 4-5 days after. This particular Friday though, my lab nurse informed me I had a temp of 99.8. Funny, I felt fine. My doctor then put my on some antibiotics and said I should be ok. All I had to do is take the pills and wear one of those surgical masks. OUTSTANDING! Of course, since I didn't feel sick, I didn't take the antibiotics as told. When I got home, I took my temp again and it said 97.8... so that's good... right? So, I called them up and told them just that. :D ThEEeey agreed that I didn't have to take the pills. Y'all!... that evening... my body turned on me. The fever was on me like nobody's business so I had to oblige and take the antibiotics.
Saturday morning
Today we are were celebrating Trey's 11th birthday. He's finally getting that pool party he's always wanted. Only thing is that this fever just about has me immobile. Long Story short. I had to end up calling my doctor that afternoon cause it wouldn't break and I felt like crap. OH! did I mention that I had a smoothie the night before that accidentally had too much wheat grass in it. hhmmm never again will I make that mistake. :D To my delight my doctor was on call and had me double up on the antibiotics and take some Tylenol, temp was was 102.8. By chance this concoction didn't succeed, "you're going to have to be admitted to the hospital."
My Birthday- 1 day After Chemo #5
Never thought I would be celebrating my birthday with Cancer. Nonetheless, I am. Usually I'm pretty tired but I'm determined to make this day work for all of us. My mom had a BBQ at her place for me. For whatever reason, I decided to shower over there. idk. Today's outfit are some black Dereon jeans with my pink Rocawear shirt and my B.C. flip flops. NOT BAD for a 35 yr old. :) So why the heck was I in tears a few moments later. I cried my eyes out cause Chemo stolen half of each of my eyebrows and even more lashes... and it happened like overnight. Promise! they were fine the day before. One after the other, Chemo continues to steel from me. UGH! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! My sister came soon after and said "girl, we just gone do some fake lashes and draw some cute brows." Cool... BUT THEY AIN'T F'ING MINE!!!! After my little melt down, I went downstairs to enjoy my day. Chilled in a spot mom reserved for me, played a little Band Hero, and even ate a little something.
Saturday, July 3, 2010
3rd Chemo 07/02/10
Halfway there and I happy about it in so many ways. 1st, the obvious... I'm halfway done with Chemo. Yea, I still have weekly Herceptin until I'm done but that not as hard to take ,side effect wise, as chemo. 2nd, I hope it will stop this bleeding I've been experiencing for the past 3 weeks. Fill you in about that later. 3rd, I'm simply getting tired of this stuff. It's a lot for not just me but for the family as well. I love them so much... and I'm ever so happy to be near my mom, and in-laws. LOL! yea I've got good in- laws and I do like them.
Look Good Feel Better
This is a program for Cancer patients provided through the hospital. They go over scarf tying, makeup, and products to sooth the skin. Because I had missed the last session the coordinator did a private 1 on 1 session for me. WOW! what a wonderful time I had. By the time we were done I felt like me old self. It didn't matter that the hair was no longer from my roots, or that the brows weren't all mine. I looked good and I felt GREAT! My coach said "you can go out now and no one could tell I was sick" and she was right. NO ONE would have a clue. LOL! I loved it! FYI Chemo doesn't just rob you of the hair but A LOT of moisture as well... internal as well as external. So the SPF hydrating products in my goody bad are especially nice. If you know of any lady actively receiving treatment;at any hospital; that you think could benefit from such a program please let me know. It's not just for Dekalb Medical patients.
In the office
Everyone complimented my makeover. LOL! musta been looking a little worn before. LOL! anyway... Blood test today showed that I was a anemic. From my last chemo session I've been having bleeding like a cycle. It was pretty light at times and OUTTA CONTROL other times. If it doesn't stop withing the next week I will need to go back for additional exams and possibly need some kind hormone treatment. Unfortunately, that doesn't work well with my treatment since my tumor is hormone receptive. It feeds off that stuff. So, that's the 2nd reason I looked forward to chemo this time. Needless to say, I now have to take Iron pill, pick up on some folic acid, and B-12 to help my body produce some blood.
My doctor also did an exam and no longer felt the tumor!!!! YEAH!!!!! What! that was even more great news on top of my feel good look better makeover. :D That's not saying it's remnants aren't there but it's no longer that bad ass it once was.
I'm so so so happy! and tired to I'm gonna take a nap. :) Love you guys.
Look Good Feel Better
This is a program for Cancer patients provided through the hospital. They go over scarf tying, makeup, and products to sooth the skin. Because I had missed the last session the coordinator did a private 1 on 1 session for me. WOW! what a wonderful time I had. By the time we were done I felt like me old self. It didn't matter that the hair was no longer from my roots, or that the brows weren't all mine. I looked good and I felt GREAT! My coach said "you can go out now and no one could tell I was sick" and she was right. NO ONE would have a clue. LOL! I loved it! FYI Chemo doesn't just rob you of the hair but A LOT of moisture as well... internal as well as external. So the SPF hydrating products in my goody bad are especially nice. If you know of any lady actively receiving treatment;at any hospital; that you think could benefit from such a program please let me know. It's not just for Dekalb Medical patients.
In the office
Everyone complimented my makeover. LOL! musta been looking a little worn before. LOL! anyway... Blood test today showed that I was a anemic. From my last chemo session I've been having bleeding like a cycle. It was pretty light at times and OUTTA CONTROL other times. If it doesn't stop withing the next week I will need to go back for additional exams and possibly need some kind hormone treatment. Unfortunately, that doesn't work well with my treatment since my tumor is hormone receptive. It feeds off that stuff. So, that's the 2nd reason I looked forward to chemo this time. Needless to say, I now have to take Iron pill, pick up on some folic acid, and B-12 to help my body produce some blood.
My doctor also did an exam and no longer felt the tumor!!!! YEAH!!!!! What! that was even more great news on top of my feel good look better makeover. :D That's not saying it's remnants aren't there but it's no longer that bad ass it once was.
I'm so so so happy! and tired to I'm gonna take a nap. :) Love you guys.
Monday, June 21, 2010
hair cutting time
Ok. Since Memorial Day I've noticed that my hair was thinning. After my last chemo, I noticed I wasn't really able to comb it anymore so I had been using my wide bristle brush. Not sure what to call the brush but it's the one that has a black poofy cushion that holds those plastic bristle with the silver plastic bulb on it. Hope that description helped. LOL! Mid last week both my mom, who also cut her hair short with me, and I planned to go get our hair washed but I had explained to her I wasn't sure if I could due to the condition of my hair. By Friday, I called my hairdresser back and canceled... I just didn't think my hair would hold up; it literally was falling out if you touched it. :(
Saturday
Me and my crew; husband, kids, and mom; went to a beauty supply shop to check out some wigs. Guys, other than a fro that I had purchased some time ago for a party I had NEVA worn a wig. The young lady that was there became helpful once I explained my purpose and lack of expertise on selecting a style. We pick several and she helped me try on and fix them. LOL! too funny some of the stuff the kids picked. By the time we were done, my hair was everywhere. On the floor, on the table, in the chair, on my clothes.... EVERYWHERE! I finally asked A.D. to go ahead and cut it. I just couldn't cope with seeing my locks falling out like that.
Sunday
Today is our 12th year anniversary. :) We got up round about the same time. I did a little clean up in the kitchen and he got the supplies together to do my hair. talk about anxiety build up. Trust me... it not that I truly mind but it's the reason I had to cut that got me. I felt .... upset! robbed! hurt!
So, I take my seat, look in the mirror, and sighed. Yea, y'all know my husband encouraged me and told me that "it'll be ok", "you're still beautiful","I love you no matter what your head looks like." He starts by using a wide tooth comb to lift up what was left of my tapered bob. :) He was ever so tender as he handled this now dead hair yet it somewhat withered outta the comb and fell to the floor. I think it shocked him as well. After the longer stuff was gone, the clippers came out. As he gingerly cut away, I couldn't help but shed a few tears... well maybe more than a few. When it was all said and done and I finally stopped bah-hooing, I took a look and decided this wasn't so bad. It was cut on a 2 guard at my request. Needless to say A.D. was right when he suggested the 1. After I showered and washed what little hair I had less, all the loose strand fell out as well... I didn't realize it at first but I did the hold another mirror behind you thing to see the back. Y'all I bah-hooed like a baby. My head was now patchy in the center. Shoulda listened to my husband and cut on the #1. :(
Finally I got it together and went out to breakfast with my wonderful husband. What an emotional day. From one extreme to the other.
Saturday
Me and my crew; husband, kids, and mom; went to a beauty supply shop to check out some wigs. Guys, other than a fro that I had purchased some time ago for a party I had NEVA worn a wig. The young lady that was there became helpful once I explained my purpose and lack of expertise on selecting a style. We pick several and she helped me try on and fix them. LOL! too funny some of the stuff the kids picked. By the time we were done, my hair was everywhere. On the floor, on the table, in the chair, on my clothes.... EVERYWHERE! I finally asked A.D. to go ahead and cut it. I just couldn't cope with seeing my locks falling out like that.
Sunday
Today is our 12th year anniversary. :) We got up round about the same time. I did a little clean up in the kitchen and he got the supplies together to do my hair. talk about anxiety build up. Trust me... it not that I truly mind but it's the reason I had to cut that got me. I felt .... upset! robbed! hurt!
So, I take my seat, look in the mirror, and sighed. Yea, y'all know my husband encouraged me and told me that "it'll be ok", "you're still beautiful","I love you no matter what your head looks like." He starts by using a wide tooth comb to lift up what was left of my tapered bob. :) He was ever so tender as he handled this now dead hair yet it somewhat withered outta the comb and fell to the floor. I think it shocked him as well. After the longer stuff was gone, the clippers came out. As he gingerly cut away, I couldn't help but shed a few tears... well maybe more than a few. When it was all said and done and I finally stopped bah-hooing, I took a look and decided this wasn't so bad. It was cut on a 2 guard at my request. Needless to say A.D. was right when he suggested the 1. After I showered and washed what little hair I had less, all the loose strand fell out as well... I didn't realize it at first but I did the hold another mirror behind you thing to see the back. Y'all I bah-hooed like a baby. My head was now patchy in the center. Shoulda listened to my husband and cut on the #1. :(
Finally I got it together and went out to breakfast with my wonderful husband. What an emotional day. From one extreme to the other.
Sunday, June 13, 2010
2nd Chemo
DING! DING! DING! DING! Ok here I am, up to round two of chemo. Even though tremendous improvements have been made in breast cancer treatment, I'm sooo NOT looking forward to this. This time though... I came prepared. Nope, didn't bring the typical books or my laptop, I brought my blanket and pillow. :) If, your not tired they still gonna make sure you go to sleep with you pre-meds. :)
Hey I found that there actually is one good side effect to chemo. well two.. 1st, LADIES... I don't have to see "Penelope" ;) every month and probably wont for up to 12 months after treatment. I think that's kinda nice :) 2nd is that I wont have to shave for too much longer. From what I understand I may revert to that new baby look with minimal to no body hair. LOL! gotta laugh bout this.
The weekend
I missed helping with the big Choi Kwang Do promotion at AMC this weekend. UGH! A.D. said it went well and looks forward to our student body growing from it.
Saturday- I spent most of the day moving from my bed to the bathroom and to my sofa. Not much of an appetite, just fatigued. For those who don't know, I have a Jamaican mother! She has been sitting with me since Friday and very persistent that I eat something. Guys, nothing taste good after chemo. I figured I would at least drink to stay hydrated but NNNNAAAHHHH she wants to bring me Applebee's Orange Chicken bowl. LOL! Thank God, we agreed on just a salad. :)
Sunday- woke up feeling a bit sick but popped a Zofran, nausea pill, and slept it off. I'm dislike being tired of being tired. Today, my mom makes pork chops and potatoes for dinner, and though I was actually gonna eat that. LOL! Mom's gotta love em.
Hey I found that there actually is one good side effect to chemo. well two.. 1st, LADIES... I don't have to see "Penelope" ;) every month and probably wont for up to 12 months after treatment. I think that's kinda nice :) 2nd is that I wont have to shave for too much longer. From what I understand I may revert to that new baby look with minimal to no body hair. LOL! gotta laugh bout this.
The weekend
I missed helping with the big Choi Kwang Do promotion at AMC this weekend. UGH! A.D. said it went well and looks forward to our student body growing from it.
Saturday- I spent most of the day moving from my bed to the bathroom and to my sofa. Not much of an appetite, just fatigued. For those who don't know, I have a Jamaican mother! She has been sitting with me since Friday and very persistent that I eat something. Guys, nothing taste good after chemo. I figured I would at least drink to stay hydrated but NNNNAAAHHHH she wants to bring me Applebee's Orange Chicken bowl. LOL! Thank God, we agreed on just a salad. :)
Sunday- woke up feeling a bit sick but popped a Zofran, nausea pill, and slept it off. I'm dislike being tired of being tired. Today, my mom makes pork chops and potatoes for dinner, and though I was actually gonna eat that. LOL! Mom's gotta love em.
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Some Good News
OK... as you guys know I go to Dekalb Medical every week for treatment. Let me clarify this. Every week they treat me with a drug called Herceptin. It's main focus is to target the specific gene of the tumor I have, HER2. Every 3rd week that I'm there I get my chemo treatments in addition to Herceptin. Trust me, all of em suck but hey, gotta get rid of this tumor. Which brings me to some good new I want to share with you.
Good News
Before my treatment yesterday, I saw my doctor just to discuss my side effects and what to do about them. cool. Then he does an exam and confirms what I thought was happening. THE TUMOR IS SHRINKING!!!! :) YYYEEEAAAA!!!! He doesn't believe it's solid anymore either, meaning the sucka is breaking down. LOL! This is just after 1 chemo and 3 Herceptin treatments. LOL! I'm sssooo Freakn happy. Unfortunately, that doesn't decrease the treatment course I'm on so still got a way to walk on this path.
Not So Good News
OK. I knew this was a possibility but I was praying I would be one of those exceptions. Maybe I still will be. BUT! As I did my hair this morning 06/05/10, I noticed some strands of hair in my iron. Strands that were wrapped around it, it a flat iron, not broken strands. I've already cut my hair to prayerfully make it less traumatic if I do loose it BUT not sure how I'm really gonna feel bout it. Keep praying y'all.
Good News
Before my treatment yesterday, I saw my doctor just to discuss my side effects and what to do about them. cool. Then he does an exam and confirms what I thought was happening. THE TUMOR IS SHRINKING!!!! :) YYYEEEAAAA!!!! He doesn't believe it's solid anymore either, meaning the sucka is breaking down. LOL! This is just after 1 chemo and 3 Herceptin treatments. LOL! I'm sssooo Freakn happy. Unfortunately, that doesn't decrease the treatment course I'm on so still got a way to walk on this path.
Not So Good News
OK. I knew this was a possibility but I was praying I would be one of those exceptions. Maybe I still will be. BUT! As I did my hair this morning 06/05/10, I noticed some strands of hair in my iron. Strands that were wrapped around it, it a flat iron, not broken strands. I've already cut my hair to prayerfully make it less traumatic if I do loose it BUT not sure how I'm really gonna feel bout it. Keep praying y'all.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Port placement
Hey guys, thanks again for checking in. WOW! what would I do without all this support, I truly appreciate it. Love Y'all! :)
OK, Remember I had explained what a port was; check the 05/14/10 post if you missed it. Well, I got one on Monday, May 24. Got to Dekalb Medical at 6:30 a.m. did all the pre-op stuff and waited.... and waited... and waited. LOL! some people DO know time. Anyway, when I finally got to go to the back, the nurse that registered me several months ago for my Achillies tendon repair was here to register me again. She was so excited by the recognition it was kinda funny, BUT made me realize I was at that hospital tooo much.
Pre-op
Everything went well. Met the nurses involved, the anesthesiologist, and my surgeon and her assistant( the same one that did my biopsy)came in to let me know exactly what was going to be done. After that, it was pretty quiet for a little while so A.D. and I watched T.V. and waited while the nurses placed my I.V. line and took blood. Nothing gets done on me without check my blood count first. WOW!
Post-op
OMG! first thing I had to do was pee, they push a LOT of fluids though you for this one. The nurse for some reason found me comical. I just had to go. Then it was just waiting for the body and mind to wake up enough and go home. I know there was a lot on in/ out traffic but A.D. dealt with that stuff, the discharge, at home care, and whatever else they talked about. IDK
Home
I went trait to bed,... well after looking at the work they did. :) I have a lump in my upper right side of the check that is now the home of my port. It was swollen and sure to be bruised up later. For what I can remember, I just chilled for the rest of the evening.
2 days later- 05/26/10
Still a bit sore and tender from the surgery but I fell much better. Not in a fog anymore and able to move my right arm better. Still not ready to pick up any heavy objects, do C.K.D., or any major movements. Other than that, I think I'm a o.k. :)
OK, Remember I had explained what a port was; check the 05/14/10 post if you missed it. Well, I got one on Monday, May 24. Got to Dekalb Medical at 6:30 a.m. did all the pre-op stuff and waited.... and waited... and waited. LOL! some people DO know time. Anyway, when I finally got to go to the back, the nurse that registered me several months ago for my Achillies tendon repair was here to register me again. She was so excited by the recognition it was kinda funny, BUT made me realize I was at that hospital tooo much.
Pre-op
Everything went well. Met the nurses involved, the anesthesiologist, and my surgeon and her assistant( the same one that did my biopsy)came in to let me know exactly what was going to be done. After that, it was pretty quiet for a little while so A.D. and I watched T.V. and waited while the nurses placed my I.V. line and took blood. Nothing gets done on me without check my blood count first. WOW!
Post-op
OMG! first thing I had to do was pee, they push a LOT of fluids though you for this one. The nurse for some reason found me comical. I just had to go. Then it was just waiting for the body and mind to wake up enough and go home. I know there was a lot on in/ out traffic but A.D. dealt with that stuff, the discharge, at home care, and whatever else they talked about. IDK
Home
I went trait to bed,... well after looking at the work they did. :) I have a lump in my upper right side of the check that is now the home of my port. It was swollen and sure to be bruised up later. For what I can remember, I just chilled for the rest of the evening.
2 days later- 05/26/10
Still a bit sore and tender from the surgery but I fell much better. Not in a fog anymore and able to move my right arm better. Still not ready to pick up any heavy objects, do C.K.D., or any major movements. Other than that, I think I'm a o.k. :)
Friday, May 21, 2010
First day on Chemo
Okay. so I've been wondering what this would be like. For some Chemo, is a concoction of pills,for others it's an I.V. cocktail. Me... I got the I.V. cocktail. So, we start out as usual with the lab work. Taking of the vital signs, blood, and this time she started and I.V. line.
In Treatment Room
They have these nice cumphy Lazy Boy recliners. So I took my seat and waited while the nurse put my cocktail together in the mixing room. LOL! No lie y'all they got a mixing room. She them comes out with what's called Pre-meds. A mix of stuff to prevents the nausea, and some other side effects of the meds and Benydryl. Mom's y'all know what Benadryl does to the body, yea... despite my hunger I had no choice but to take a nap. I felt like a little kid at the dinner table, I'm hungry and really want to eat this food but DAMN!!! I'm falling asleep and can't help it. LOL! Other than that the treatment was pretty okay. Just sit there and let the stuff drip into your veins, watch T.V. read,go to the restroom, and listen to the other patients snore. LOL! They can't help it.
After Treatment
Maaaann, I'm was a bit tired, slightly head achy, and had this unusual metallic taste in the back of my throat. All I really wanted to do was go home and lay down. BUT!!!! I had one graduation program to get through. Y'all know I love Choi Kwang Do and my students, so I was not going to stand them up. Even if A.D. had to go without me, C.K.D. would represent. I made it to the program and stayed just long enough for my student to do they're thing, and yea, they did an awesome job. Now, finally back home, in bed, did my Cafe world, Blog and now sleep.
Nitey nite :) love y'all that thanks for checking in.
In Treatment Room
They have these nice cumphy Lazy Boy recliners. So I took my seat and waited while the nurse put my cocktail together in the mixing room. LOL! No lie y'all they got a mixing room. She them comes out with what's called Pre-meds. A mix of stuff to prevents the nausea, and some other side effects of the meds and Benydryl. Mom's y'all know what Benadryl does to the body, yea... despite my hunger I had no choice but to take a nap. I felt like a little kid at the dinner table, I'm hungry and really want to eat this food but DAMN!!! I'm falling asleep and can't help it. LOL! Other than that the treatment was pretty okay. Just sit there and let the stuff drip into your veins, watch T.V. read,go to the restroom, and listen to the other patients snore. LOL! They can't help it.
After Treatment
Maaaann, I'm was a bit tired, slightly head achy, and had this unusual metallic taste in the back of my throat. All I really wanted to do was go home and lay down. BUT!!!! I had one graduation program to get through. Y'all know I love Choi Kwang Do and my students, so I was not going to stand them up. Even if A.D. had to go without me, C.K.D. would represent. I made it to the program and stayed just long enough for my student to do they're thing, and yea, they did an awesome job. Now, finally back home, in bed, did my Cafe world, Blog and now sleep.
Nitey nite :) love y'all that thanks for checking in.
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Friday 05/14/10
Ok, I got this call from my oncologist's office on Thursday so I'm guessing this one should determine my treatment plan now. I forgot to tell you guys that I had agreed to do a clinical trail but come to find out the trial was closed for patients like me. They are looking for candidates who are having surgery then chemo, my doctor opted to do chemo then surgery so I didn't fit into the trail anymore.
In the office
OK, just as I thought he's agreed it's time to start normal protocol for treatment. Chemo, surgery, then radiation. Chemo for me will begin next Friday 05/21/10. It consist of 2 chemo drugs that will be giving every 3rd week. Another drug to target my specific cancer will be administered every week. Too many needle pokes so I'll be getting a port. A port is an implanted vascular access device used in patients to prevent vein collapse from the numerous injection sites. Chemo seems like it will last for about the next 4 1/2 months, the other stuff I'll be on for a year.
Y'all... I give my husband flack about taking too much OTC meds for a headache or a cold now I gotta stay on prescriptions for the next 5 years. Oh, didn't tell y'all bout that other major one.
The 5 yr drug
The other drug I'll start after chemo and stay on it for the next 5 yrs. This one supposedly send me into EARLY menopause... guess the good part bout that one is that... hey I won't see "Penelope" every month any more... LOL! :D the down side of course is the flashes I keep hearing my mom talk about and the fact that Ms. P may show up again once my 5 years is up. Remember, it put me into EARLY menopause... I'm still under age for something. LOL!!!!
My Big Concern
Guys, I know there are a lot of people who have to walk this walk,and for each of us the concerns and reactions are different. Now, Y'all know I'm not a crier, though I've had my moment with this matter, but my biggest concern is hair loss. Nah... I didn't cry over the hair it just bugging me that it could shed so much that it would be easier to cut it. One of the counselors suggested cutting it short now so that once... and if.. it starts to shed, it wont be soooo traumatic for me to see the smaller patches. After some thought, I think that's what I'll do. I've always wanted to rock a short do so guess I'll take advantage now and it it shed little to none then I'll just keep it like that. IDK... any suggestions?
In the office
OK, just as I thought he's agreed it's time to start normal protocol for treatment. Chemo, surgery, then radiation. Chemo for me will begin next Friday 05/21/10. It consist of 2 chemo drugs that will be giving every 3rd week. Another drug to target my specific cancer will be administered every week. Too many needle pokes so I'll be getting a port. A port is an implanted vascular access device used in patients to prevent vein collapse from the numerous injection sites. Chemo seems like it will last for about the next 4 1/2 months, the other stuff I'll be on for a year.
Y'all... I give my husband flack about taking too much OTC meds for a headache or a cold now I gotta stay on prescriptions for the next 5 years. Oh, didn't tell y'all bout that other major one.
The 5 yr drug
The other drug I'll start after chemo and stay on it for the next 5 yrs. This one supposedly send me into EARLY menopause... guess the good part bout that one is that... hey I won't see "Penelope" every month any more... LOL! :D the down side of course is the flashes I keep hearing my mom talk about and the fact that Ms. P may show up again once my 5 years is up. Remember, it put me into EARLY menopause... I'm still under age for something. LOL!!!!
My Big Concern
Guys, I know there are a lot of people who have to walk this walk,and for each of us the concerns and reactions are different. Now, Y'all know I'm not a crier, though I've had my moment with this matter, but my biggest concern is hair loss. Nah... I didn't cry over the hair it just bugging me that it could shed so much that it would be easier to cut it. One of the counselors suggested cutting it short now so that once... and if.. it starts to shed, it wont be soooo traumatic for me to see the smaller patches. After some thought, I think that's what I'll do. I've always wanted to rock a short do so guess I'll take advantage now and it it shed little to none then I'll just keep it like that. IDK... any suggestions?
Saturday, May 8, 2010
04/07/10
I have been waiting for this day for a week now. This day I get the results of all the tests I have been taking... well most of them, I know one isn't ready yet but I ain't worried bout it. My mother and husband accompanied me on this visit. Unlike the other results visit (the one where I was actually told I had Cancer) I was calm and much more relaxed. Y'all, I was almost a mess last time cause I knew what they were about to tell me wasn't good, I just knew it.
In the room w/ Dr.S.
First let me tell you Dr. S. is a kinda quirky Indian guy that kinda resembles Mr.Bean. NO! I'm not making fun of him... just tryna give y'all an idea of what he looks like. Shoot, he's taking care of me now.
He pulls up my profile on his office p.c. and starts reading my results. Long story short... My heart is good, the MRI is clear, the Pet Scan was good even though there are traces. The only result left to get now is the Genetics. See, they are tying to figure out how and why I have this disease... there is no logical explanation. No family history, I'm too young :D(under 40), I'm active, don't abuse alcohol, don't smoke, and I eat pretty healthy.
Anyway, he goes on to explain the therapy. Chemo will start soon and will be either every other week or 3rd week. Most likely by the second session I may start loosing my hair. I am sooo NOT ready for that. Now y'all know I'm not stuck up or anything like that but but I love MY hair. Growing up, I've always had girls ask me "is that your real hair, is it all yours, is that a wig" and I've always took that as a compliment that my hair just simply looked good. UGH! So not ready! He also wants me to participate in a clinical trial. The drug isn't new for Chemo patients but the way it is given is where the trial is, at least so I understand. I will continue on this drug for a year. It is supposed to track the Her2 cancer cells and destroy them before any other cysts/tumors are formed. After Chemo, witch will take about 5- 6 months I guess, I will be starting another drug called Tamoxifn. This one has one possible GOOD benefit, it sends me into early menopause so my guess is that means I will no longer be visited my "Penelope" (.) LOL! Ok. so there may be hair loss and early menopause, then he explains that after chemo, I'll go back to the surgeon to have whatever of the lump removed or a mastectomy. WTF! are you serious. Of- course I'm ok with the lumpectomy but not the mastectomy. C'mon, is he serious... I don't think so...!!!! NO WAY!!! NOT HEARING HIM THERE!!! Even after that I will need to go to radiation therapy. Though tremendous improvements have been made in cancer research and treatment, it's still a lot to go through.
Please, support Breast Cancer research in anyway you can. You never know who it may affect... your mom, sister, cousin, aunt, wife.
Be Blessed
In the room w/ Dr.S.
First let me tell you Dr. S. is a kinda quirky Indian guy that kinda resembles Mr.Bean. NO! I'm not making fun of him... just tryna give y'all an idea of what he looks like. Shoot, he's taking care of me now.
He pulls up my profile on his office p.c. and starts reading my results. Long story short... My heart is good, the MRI is clear, the Pet Scan was good even though there are traces. The only result left to get now is the Genetics. See, they are tying to figure out how and why I have this disease... there is no logical explanation. No family history, I'm too young :D(under 40), I'm active, don't abuse alcohol, don't smoke, and I eat pretty healthy.
Anyway, he goes on to explain the therapy. Chemo will start soon and will be either every other week or 3rd week. Most likely by the second session I may start loosing my hair. I am sooo NOT ready for that. Now y'all know I'm not stuck up or anything like that but but I love MY hair. Growing up, I've always had girls ask me "is that your real hair, is it all yours, is that a wig" and I've always took that as a compliment that my hair just simply looked good. UGH! So not ready! He also wants me to participate in a clinical trial. The drug isn't new for Chemo patients but the way it is given is where the trial is, at least so I understand. I will continue on this drug for a year. It is supposed to track the Her2 cancer cells and destroy them before any other cysts/tumors are formed. After Chemo, witch will take about 5- 6 months I guess, I will be starting another drug called Tamoxifn. This one has one possible GOOD benefit, it sends me into early menopause so my guess is that means I will no longer be visited my "Penelope" (.) LOL! Ok. so there may be hair loss and early menopause, then he explains that after chemo, I'll go back to the surgeon to have whatever of the lump removed or a mastectomy. WTF! are you serious. Of- course I'm ok with the lumpectomy but not the mastectomy. C'mon, is he serious... I don't think so...!!!! NO WAY!!! NOT HEARING HIM THERE!!! Even after that I will need to go to radiation therapy. Though tremendous improvements have been made in cancer research and treatment, it's still a lot to go through.
Please, support Breast Cancer research in anyway you can. You never know who it may affect... your mom, sister, cousin, aunt, wife.
Be Blessed
Friday, May 7, 2010
Intro
Hello all,
Guess this is where my story will begin. For those who take the time to follow me on this journey... Thank you! My hope is that by using this page the number of questions I have to answer from my friends will NOT be so great. Please understand while I of-course have no problems discussing this matter, this blog was created to help alleviate us from the repetitive answers. Please feel free to leave your questions, comments and concerns here... there are no dumb question other than the one not asked. :) and your question my be another persons concern so please, just ask.
As you have read above I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer. Yea! Ain't that something. We received this confirmation on April 21,2010, so to all Lithonia C.K.D. family that's why we (Merrick family) have been out for a while. I know, we were kinda missing them already with my previous injury. Life happens and I guess you can say it's my time of the less fortunate events. :( From mid March I have been in-between physical therapy and numerous other appointments concerning the mass in my breast. It was a very stressful time for us so if by some chance I snapped at anyone or seemed outta character... PLZ forgive me. :D
It's late now, so I will post again soon to give you guys more information. Be Blessed!
Pil Suhng! (Certain Victory)
Guess this is where my story will begin. For those who take the time to follow me on this journey... Thank you! My hope is that by using this page the number of questions I have to answer from my friends will NOT be so great. Please understand while I of-course have no problems discussing this matter, this blog was created to help alleviate us from the repetitive answers. Please feel free to leave your questions, comments and concerns here... there are no dumb question other than the one not asked. :) and your question my be another persons concern so please, just ask.
As you have read above I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer. Yea! Ain't that something. We received this confirmation on April 21,2010, so to all Lithonia C.K.D. family that's why we (Merrick family) have been out for a while. I know, we were kinda missing them already with my previous injury. Life happens and I guess you can say it's my time of the less fortunate events. :( From mid March I have been in-between physical therapy and numerous other appointments concerning the mass in my breast. It was a very stressful time for us so if by some chance I snapped at anyone or seemed outta character... PLZ forgive me. :D
It's late now, so I will post again soon to give you guys more information. Be Blessed!
Pil Suhng! (Certain Victory)
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