Happy New Year

Here at my aunt's, by marriage, house bringing in the new year with family. We all gathered in the living room to watch a video biography of the late R. Morton. A.D.'s grandmother who passed February 2010. The video contained photographs from her youth, family gatherings over the years and even her funeral, it was very tastefully done. I miss her... I'm sure we(the family) all do.

As 2011 came near I couldn't help but feel a bit overwhelmed. There is so much for me to be thankful for- my family, doctors, techs, friends, good spirits, life.
-so much to say goodbye to- broken Achilles, Cancer, Chemo, some broken relationships,
- and so much good to look forward to in 2011- healing, growing my business, finishing up treatments (Herceptin should be done by June or July), maybe a vacation. LOL! would be nice.
It was all so much for me to absorb as the clock stuck 12:00. After all the cheers, hugs and all that stuff, I retreated to the bathroom for a quiet cry. I'm was just happy for the new possibilities for 2011 and the end of 2010's misfortunes. Though they may make me stronger in some sense... I'm still glad it's over.

I wish you all a wonderful 2011. Happy New Year! :)

Last Radiation

Finally! Today is it! December 27,2010, My last day of radiation. I'm so happy... so is my gas tank/ purse. Here's a little story for you.

Prior to Christmas I got a card from someone in Loganville. My husband and I relentlessly tried to figure out who the heck was sending "me" a card, from Loganville, the person didn't put their name above the return address. I carefully opened the envelope, heck I didn't know who it was either. Anyway, inside was a little handwritten note, 3 Season's Greetings scratch-offs, and a QT gas card. When I finally saw the name on the back of the card I still couldn't figure out who in the world it was, then it finally hit me. Remember I told you about "Cleaning for a Purpose," (check my previous post) well it was from the cleaning lady that had come by. OMG! I thought that was ever so thoughtful of her and very much appreciated.

Back to my last day. The routine was the same but everyone was excited for me. Before they started, one tech noticed how much my skin under my arm had opened up. She said if this had happened earlier in the process we would have had to stop and take a break... BUT since that area isn't being radiated anymore we can go forward and be done. Once off the table, Ms. W. gave a huge hug and told me what a wonderful patient I was and I had a wonderful fam. Though she's Asian, I think she had a thing for my husband. LOL! I ain't mad. Outside the room, I got well wishes from the other 2 techs... Mr. R reminds me of my homie Dwan B., and Ms. T... she's a sweetheart. Before leaving I saw the doctor on-call and filled out a survey. This doctor did mention to me that within 2 weeks I should gain my energy back...didn't realize it was missing... LOL! well that's the excuse I'm using for now to not put a little umph into getting a workout done.

ALL DONE! :D


December 28th

I've been on cloud 9 since yesterday. In the shower I had the privilege of removing all those stickers from my chest. Since they had been there so long, they left my chest with areas resembling crop circles...brown ones! obviously. :) Now my skin has to heal, I understand it will take maybe a couple of weeks for the burns to heal and maybe a few months for the skin to turn back to it's natural color. There is also some tingling/ itching near my incisions. I know all to well what that means. The nerves are finally repairing themselves... I remember from last year when I ruptured my Achilles Tendon, so I'm anticipating having more feeling back pretty soon.

Next week I have an appointment with the plastic surgeon. Juuusst seeing what my options are. But as usual, I'll keep you posted.

Happy New Year!

Nearing the End

Over the weekend the skin broke under my arm. I have already been in pain from stiffness, and my skin being nuked daily.... now to have an open sore... ugh... I just happy it's all almost over. I had A.D. lotion my back last night and he informed me that the left side was even darker than the right. That's some serious stuff! WOW.


December 20th


On my way into the radiation room, I remembered to ask how many treatments were left. 5 left after today! yyeeaaa! I'm so freaking happy... I just don't know what to say. Oh... my... gosh... :D This will be time for my body to start to recooperate,... and allow my skin to return to it's normal color. So Monday December 27,2010... radiation for me will be done when I walk outta the office. :D

Hair


It's growing pretty fast. :) I can actually hang on to some if I squeeze it between 2 fingers, can even get it to roll almost halfway around a finger as well. Trust me, it's not a ton like it was before, not even the same texture but it's coming along. I went out with my girls the other evening and went WITHOUT a wig or hat. Just me. :)


Remember how disgusted I was about how much my body is changing... for the worst, and how determined I was to start working out again.... Well... let me just say... it's hard to workout when it hasn't been done in a while. lol! guess I'll have to break back into it a little slower than I really anticipate. Need some motivation. :)



Not sure if I'll post again before Christmas so just in case I don't... Merry Christmas Everyone and a Happy New Year! Much love and blessings to all my followers and readers.
Thank you all so much for your support.

Growing Up

Coming here every day is no big thing, but today I realized I'm a senior at this. It's Thursday December 9,2010. A new patient arrived today. An older white lady, I would guess her to be in her 60's. She seemed a bit shy, kinda to herself as she came around the corner to the changing/ patient waiting room. Then she asked "is this where we change and wait for radiation? There was no one up front so I'm not sure what to do.... it's my first day." Since I was closest to the changing rooms I answered. I gave her the routine that even you guys know well by now. LOL! In our conversation, I learned today was not only her; I'll refer to her as Ms.G; first radiation but also her first chemo. Ugh! I kinda disliked her asking so many questions about chemo and it's side effects... NOT that I mind telling her about mine... I didn't want to scare her. Chemo reacts differently for every patient. Nonetheless, I told her the truth about what I experienced and so did my "other new friend." I wished her the best on my way out and shared one little piece of advise... "bring your own blanket for chemo. Sometimes the office runs out and it's just comforting to have your own, you'll be there for about 4-5 hours." :)


December 10,2010

I'm second for radiation this morning. Ms. G came in shortly after and seems a little more relaxed. humph! relaxed or whipped up from those drugs. She greets me warmly and I must admit.... I was surprised she remembered my name and used it so comfortably. After she got changed, she sat next to me and admitted she was a bit tired from her first treatments. Otherwise, all went well for her. So glad to hear that... but I'll see what she says on Monday. I got sick 2 days after chemo, let's see how she does.




Peace and Love,
Mel

About 2 Weeks of Radiation Left

December 13

Yup... Ms. G got whipped up from her chemo over the weekend. LOL... Cancer/ Chemo is a bitch! I feel for her though, she has chemo weekly. I remember recover well, it takes about that long to get over it so by the time she probably starts feeling better it's literally time for another.

December 14th

Got some new lines and stickers this morning from my radiation doctor. He said they will now concentrate on the area where the tumor was located, the incision line and about 2 inches around it. "If the tumor reappears, it's most likely to be within 2 inches of the original tumor," he says.

December 15th

I alerted the techs that Dr. H. had given me new stickers and lines and they immediately knew what I meant. This team really knows how to work together. :) Once on the table they told me they would also take some pics. No big deal,... they take new pics every week. These pics though would concentrate on the newly outlined area only as would any radiation after today. Pics normally take an additional minute or so.... so why in the world did it take about 35 minutes this morning?! I made sure not to do too much unnecessary movements nor take deep breaths. Each tech took turns coming in the room with me to adjust the table, make new marks, and call to the other to do something. 35 MINUTES! by the time they told me I could move my arm down I was too numb to do it on my own. Oh, guess it might help if I described to you my position on the table huh?

Table position

I lay on my back in my custom made body cast with my head turned to the right. My left arm raised above my head; kinda in that old school "I'm gonna faint" position; and gown off the left shoulder exposing my underarm and breast.

They said for some reason the machine wouldn't take clear pics of me so they had to keep doing them over. On my way back to the dressing room, I had everyone asking if I was taking Glamor shots pictures and all sorts of stuff like that. LOL! "sorry everyone, but it wasn't my fault."

Well not too much of this left and I'm excited. Though the hospital isn't far from me it kills my $3.00 a gallon gas.

Update 3

Hey guys,

I know it's been a couple of weeks since I have given you an update. Radiation is pretty repetitious so there really isn't much to tell about it. One side effect that I happen to notice just this evening was some breakage in the skin. :( These two little spots resemble broken skin when you scratch your skin too hard. I've been applying a prescribed topical ointments and aloe vera gel to assist and/ or prevent any additional irritation. Think I got about 2 more weeks of this and I'll be done. Not sure what they have planned for me after that... but I think my Oncologist mentioned something like doing another PET scan to make sure everything is gone.

Hair

My hair is getting longer. :) Nope... nooowhere like it was before but... I can just about pinch and inch on it now. LOL! when I pinch it, it reaches about 3 quarters up to the 1st knuckle. It's cute :) Not sure if everyone has been aware of the weather here in GA. It's been unseasonably cold. This meant I had to ditch the wigs and scarfs and put on something more sensible; knitted skullies! I got some cute ones. Don't think they leave my head unless I'm taking a shower or doing class. I even sleep in them. :D A.D. was like you have got to be kidding me. I know, I know... I most likely lost some cool point there ... shit! it's cold! and I ain't used to all this directly on my head.


Happy Holidays!

Radiation 12/03/10

This will be a short one... promise... and I hope my post will not be jibberish cause I'm using A.D.'s laptop and the keys are sooooo close.


Radiation 12/03/10


This morning I started at my newly growing hair. Turning to the left and examining, turning to the right and examine some more. I cocked my head back to each corner, held it down... all sorts of ways over and over again. My eyebrows are finally filled back in; to a point I no longer need makeup to color them in; and maybe a little thicker, my lashes are still tryna plump up. "Not bad" I finally thought. "Mel you've been though so much this past year... it's ok, everything is fine now,... you are still beautiful... it was just hard to see with so many physical changes....but those changes have withered away and I see a beautiful me again." I went too the kids bathroom and hunted for my son's soft brush. My old one is too rough for me now. :) I brushed my new hair into place and finally... finally accepted my new look. "I am beautiful, I am still me, I am still cute, I am.... Mel!" Never mind the scars, they're there to simply remind me that nothing in life is guarenteed.
Live! Love! Laugh!


At the hospital

No specialty parking space available for me this morning. No worries... I need to walk... good for the heart. :)

I've really come to enjoy these ladies here with me. I never thought it would be nice to relate to others like me. Many times when I'm hurt or hurting, I choose to be by myself or really lash out...I don't linger too much in between. Always been like that. Anyway, we chatted a while about the toll radiation is having on us. The breast cancer patients were all the same; skin irritation under the arm, skin darkening, and shrinkage. Yup! they're uneven but I think I told you all that before. That led us to our next subject; breast augmentation/ reconstruction. This is actually something I wanted to address before my diagnosis, so now I think I will go ahead with it since my insurance will cover it. No implants, just a lift. Hey, I was a sexy B before these kids. Got pregnant and grew to a DD! Nursed both rugrats and grew into a F! that mess was unreal. but I'm still wearing a D.... en not so perky. ugh! So I plan to get that addressed. Just to even out everything and lift em back into place. :D The one lady that considers me her favorite agreed with me.... for herself that is. lol. This chick is 68 years old... and still wanting the girls to look right. I Love it.!

I asked them if we could take pictures. No hats, wigs,or scarfs. They agreed. So Monday is our picture day. :) I may share one with you. I'll keep you posted as usual.

12/01/10 radiation

I had a great time today in the radiation department. It's not just the staff but these wonderful, strong, and brave women that share/shared this horrible disease with me. We had a discussion about our doctors, the hospital, the staff, our scars and insurance. Let me say this about Dekalb Medical Hospital- Decatur; while I'm sure there will be someone to disagree with me; BUT they have an outstanding staff there. From Central Registration, to Outpatient Surgery, to the specialist offices, right down to the parking lot attendant... They have OUTSTANDING service. We all felt as though they cradled us like babies while under their care. I... kinda... liked it. :)

Scars

What I did discover though was a possible reason I have a scar above my port, separate form the actual port site. I thought they just accidentally cut me,...well they did, but it was explained that while they are fishing the tubing between the skin and tissue to access the large vein under the clavicle, they may puncture your skin along the way. It's what happened to her above the clavicle... in the lower part of the neck! She said her daughter had to clean her from the top of her head to her back from so much blood before leaving the hospital. Her port was placed by a Savannah hospital. So that's my guess to the additional scar I have. I don't know. Gotta remember to ask my surgeon when I see her in Jan.


Insurance

I have GREAT insurance now but have you guys heard of AFLAC? Their policies are off the chain. They have different coverages you can purchase but the one that sparked my interest was the Cancer Coverage. A friend of mine had told me about it after the fact but one of the ladies here has it and I just couldn't believe how it works. You pay your monthly premiums but if you ever need to use that coverage... they pay you. To actually be diagnosed with Cancer they send an excess of $10,000, every Chemo they send you money, daily radiation... you get money. WHAT! Everything you get done they take care of you. WOW! I'm thankful for the insurance I have but...DAMN! My co-pays are reasonable but I still got A LOT of them and yea they can add up. No worries though.


What's Left

22 radiation treatments left. Thank God! Treatments are fine but coming here everyday is working my gas tank and purse.