Ok. So things are going pretty smoothly for me right now and we're all very thankful for that.
My Invite
For a while now, an old friend of mine has been inviting me out to see him and his band perform. I've had very good intention of making at least one performance and promised him many times that I was coming, but something always came up. Well, guess he fool proofed this one. Dwan! I know you're reading... you finally got me this time. LOL! About two weeks ago I received a REQUEST... no longer an invite from Dwan to speak; during intermission; about breast cancer and stir up a little awareness about it. Trust me! I had just about every intention on denying this request simply cause this condition is still fresh for me. I hadn't been given that "you're in remission" talk yet... Shit! I still got A LOT more treatments to go. No, not chemo but there's surgery, radiation, and about 10 months left of Herceptin.
The jist of our Conversation
He informs me that he dedicates at least one show per month towards breast cancer awareness. Reason being that his grandmother had passed last year from this disease and he made her a promise to fight for the cause. My speaking on the subject would mean so much to him and his family, he says. Y'all he really worked this conversation to make sure I would do it... and I did. Yea, there were other influenced that encouraged me to go through with this, including my surgeon.
Friday
After dropping the kids at school and making my Friday morning doctors appointment, I went back home to work on my speech for the evening. It wasn't till then I realized exactly how nervous I was. For those who hang around me know that I usually don't have a problem speaking in front of crowds, it's just that now I'm being asked to talk about my cancer. Well, if I mess up all I have to do is what was advised to me... go into my element and break out with some Choi Kwang Do moves. LOL! I'm sure that will leave the crowd baffled. LOL
The Show
This guy Dwan is baaad as eva on the sax. Awesome night. A.D., my mom, Ericka, and Susie came out to support me. :) My time on the stage didn't quiet go as planned but it went well enough. I hated that I didn't get to tell a better story about my hair loss with Trey's tree analogy. If you need a refresher on this story just go back to "Hair Cutting Time." OMG! Once I exited the stage, it's like I became a mini celeb. LOL! Quiet a few people came over to show some love and support,... including my girl Nekori who I had no idea was going to be there. She's been following my stories and secretly decided to come out to support me. I know you reading to Nekori... Thanks :)
That was pretty much it for the evening and guess I did Dwan proud. He's tryna get me to come to another show of his to tell my story again.
Saturday, September 25, 2010
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Last Chemo 09/03/10
Excited this morning but.... hhmmmm, still reluctant. I'm sure you can somewhat relate. It's that bonus that's you're expecting but you still gotta do a job you dislike, that new car you got but damn sure don't want the payment, that slice of Red Velvet with a ton of calories, it's NOT wanting to get up Saturday morning to let the dog out but you know if you don't.... well, you know they may leave a package for you. So you feel me; I'm glad this day is finally here but shit!... I'm tired of the needled, the nausea, the loss of appetite, the loss of time with my family, and surely tired of being tired. Literally!
At the Office
Ms. M already started with the "congratulations, you made it" as I stuck my head from behind the door. Alright! I can't deny it, it felt good to reach this stage of treatment. My last infusion of Taxotere, Carboplatin,Herceptin,Decadron and pre-meds. OH how much I will NOT miss thee.
While I was waiting for A.D. to bring me some breakfast, another patient comes in and plops himself next to me and the lady that accompanied him sat at the table. I was kinda annoyed but oh well. Guess A.D. ain't the patient,... this guy is. My last treatment my husband will have to sit at the table and not be at my side. humph! iight. So I simply smile and put on my nice face for him. :)
This guys turns out to be a sweetheart. The lab nurses had a difficult time locating a good vein in him so it was up to our charge nurse to handle it. While he waited, he decided to strike up a little conversation with me. "I ain't never been sick before, and don't know why I'm here" was his claim. I remembered, even though I was getting a groggy from my meds. "I think I'm leaving, bout to get outta here" was his next claim but I said to him how will you get better if you leave. Just as I said that to him, the lady he came with said "you betta keep planted in that chair" and I couldn't help but chuckle. He scooted back so fast he reminded me of a that got busted tryna break loose. LOL! He soon realized I was falling asleep and let me be.
Our nurse came out with her cart full of needles. OMG! My new friend cringed like a little kid. Needless to say, I couldn't fall asleep on him now. What a struggle for me at that point. You know what a teaspoon on Benadryl does to a kid, I get a bag full. I tried my best to calm him down with small talk but the minute he felt the prick of the needle, our conversation was null. After all that drama, he still wasn't able to get treated cause his veins wouldn't accept a needle.
In the patient room with the doctor
All went well with my treatment today. I'm tired and ready to go home but first, I gotta visit my doctor. I think we just talked about about the next steps of treatment. I was to schedule to see the surgeon again, the same one that placed my port, to determine how invasive of a surgery would be done.
That appointment is scheduled for September 22,2010. I'll keep you guys informed.
Peace and Love :)
At the Office
Ms. M already started with the "congratulations, you made it" as I stuck my head from behind the door. Alright! I can't deny it, it felt good to reach this stage of treatment. My last infusion of Taxotere, Carboplatin,Herceptin,Decadron and pre-meds. OH how much I will NOT miss thee.
While I was waiting for A.D. to bring me some breakfast, another patient comes in and plops himself next to me and the lady that accompanied him sat at the table. I was kinda annoyed but oh well. Guess A.D. ain't the patient,... this guy is. My last treatment my husband will have to sit at the table and not be at my side. humph! iight. So I simply smile and put on my nice face for him. :)
This guys turns out to be a sweetheart. The lab nurses had a difficult time locating a good vein in him so it was up to our charge nurse to handle it. While he waited, he decided to strike up a little conversation with me. "I ain't never been sick before, and don't know why I'm here" was his claim. I remembered, even though I was getting a groggy from my meds. "I think I'm leaving, bout to get outta here" was his next claim but I said to him how will you get better if you leave. Just as I said that to him, the lady he came with said "you betta keep planted in that chair" and I couldn't help but chuckle. He scooted back so fast he reminded me of a that got busted tryna break loose. LOL! He soon realized I was falling asleep and let me be.
Our nurse came out with her cart full of needles. OMG! My new friend cringed like a little kid. Needless to say, I couldn't fall asleep on him now. What a struggle for me at that point. You know what a teaspoon on Benadryl does to a kid, I get a bag full. I tried my best to calm him down with small talk but the minute he felt the prick of the needle, our conversation was null. After all that drama, he still wasn't able to get treated cause his veins wouldn't accept a needle.
In the patient room with the doctor
All went well with my treatment today. I'm tired and ready to go home but first, I gotta visit my doctor. I think we just talked about about the next steps of treatment. I was to schedule to see the surgeon again, the same one that placed my port, to determine how invasive of a surgery would be done.
That appointment is scheduled for September 22,2010. I'll keep you guys informed.
Peace and Love :)
Saturday, September 4, 2010
Realization 09/02/10
Ok, So I've got this one last Chemo tomorrow. Yea, I'm so looking forward to it... for the most part at least.
While taking my shower I realized that this is be the end of so much drama for me.
No more
-Cancer
-sickness/ nausea
- tiredness from nothing/ no activity
-chemo darkened fingernails, tongue, and skin
-body aches
-unwanted bald head. Though I did like jumping in the shower w/o a cap and not worry about getting my hair wet.
-missing brows and lashes. I swear I was looking like a Hershey's drop with eyes. LOL!
-dryness. Skin, mouth, and girlfriend places. Yup! Chemo gets it all.
-loss of appetite. The easiest thing for me to digest was fish tea (Jamaican brew).
Don't get me wrong, all of it wasn't bad.
I do like
- Having my tumor shrunk
- NOT getting my monthly visits from Penelope. what girl wouldn't
- not shaving ANYTHING! Everything was as soft as a baby's boody. LOL!
-having stronger nails
This whole venture has also given me a greater perspective on life. I thought about what and who is truly important to me. It let me open up for forgiving,... NEVER forgetting the wrongs of my life. Life is great! and I want all the good it has in store for me.
While taking my shower I realized that this is be the end of so much drama for me.
No more
-Cancer
-sickness/ nausea
- tiredness from nothing/ no activity
-chemo darkened fingernails, tongue, and skin
-body aches
-unwanted bald head. Though I did like jumping in the shower w/o a cap and not worry about getting my hair wet.
-missing brows and lashes. I swear I was looking like a Hershey's drop with eyes. LOL!
-dryness. Skin, mouth, and girlfriend places. Yup! Chemo gets it all.
-loss of appetite. The easiest thing for me to digest was fish tea (Jamaican brew).
Don't get me wrong, all of it wasn't bad.
I do like
- Having my tumor shrunk
- NOT getting my monthly visits from Penelope. what girl wouldn't
- not shaving ANYTHING! Everything was as soft as a baby's boody. LOL!
-having stronger nails
This whole venture has also given me a greater perspective on life. I thought about what and who is truly important to me. It let me open up for forgiving,... NEVER forgetting the wrongs of my life. Life is great! and I want all the good it has in store for me.
Friday, September 3, 2010
Week of 08/30/2010
Lot's of positive happened this week.
#1. I finally got to test for my EE Dan (2nd degree black belt). For those who don't know why this was so important for me, here's the condensed version on the story. December of 2009 we; me, A.D., and Trey; were scheduled to test together for this belt. During a training session with A.D. and Mark; another friend testing for the same belt; I ruptured my Achilles Tendon in my right leg. THREE WEEKS BEFORE MY TEST! I was ever so disappointed. Anyway, I was able to get permission from Head Quarters for a private testing. Completed it Monday evening and got my new belt as well. Poor thing had been on the wall so long it was dusty.
#2. Friday is my final Chemo. Now, if you've read all the blogs you know that I was diagnosed with this while I was in physical therapy for my Achilles. I was still recovering from that and starting to train again for my impending Dan test. Now the end is here and I'm so looking forward to it. I DON'T LIKE BEING SICK! I DON'T LIKE THE CHANGES I'VE EXPERIENCED... except maybe 3 of them :), and I DON'T LIKE NOT BEING IN CONTROL.
#3. My husband is doing really well with the Kangen Water system and Natura Burst. Well being products. Tehy even seems to help my recover faster from my treatments and even helped my Chemo darkened skin return to it's natural chocolate complexion. :) Web page for this coming soon.
#4. I spoke to an old friend, one that I swore I never would cause they really hurt me back when. The conversation, via FB, went smoother than I anticipated and allowed me to release my hidden resentment. I say hidden cause I was sure I had rid myself of it a LONG time ago but they said something to me the truly counted..."I apologize......" Wow!
#5. I recently got up the nerve to go ahead and get my pics taken. Instead of my original planned outfits; I'll sport 2 different Cancer outfits, 1 all pink skirt and top, 1 white tank and jeans, and the other I'm still open. Any suggestions?
#1. I finally got to test for my EE Dan (2nd degree black belt). For those who don't know why this was so important for me, here's the condensed version on the story. December of 2009 we; me, A.D., and Trey; were scheduled to test together for this belt. During a training session with A.D. and Mark; another friend testing for the same belt; I ruptured my Achilles Tendon in my right leg. THREE WEEKS BEFORE MY TEST! I was ever so disappointed. Anyway, I was able to get permission from Head Quarters for a private testing. Completed it Monday evening and got my new belt as well. Poor thing had been on the wall so long it was dusty.
#2. Friday is my final Chemo. Now, if you've read all the blogs you know that I was diagnosed with this while I was in physical therapy for my Achilles. I was still recovering from that and starting to train again for my impending Dan test. Now the end is here and I'm so looking forward to it. I DON'T LIKE BEING SICK! I DON'T LIKE THE CHANGES I'VE EXPERIENCED... except maybe 3 of them :), and I DON'T LIKE NOT BEING IN CONTROL.
#3. My husband is doing really well with the Kangen Water system and Natura Burst. Well being products. Tehy even seems to help my recover faster from my treatments and even helped my Chemo darkened skin return to it's natural chocolate complexion. :) Web page for this coming soon.
#4. I spoke to an old friend, one that I swore I never would cause they really hurt me back when. The conversation, via FB, went smoother than I anticipated and allowed me to release my hidden resentment. I say hidden cause I was sure I had rid myself of it a LONG time ago but they said something to me the truly counted..."I apologize......" Wow!
#5. I recently got up the nerve to go ahead and get my pics taken. Instead of my original planned outfits; I'll sport 2 different Cancer outfits, 1 all pink skirt and top, 1 white tank and jeans, and the other I'm still open. Any suggestions?
Thursday, September 2, 2010
OMG! where have you been?
Hey guys, I am sooooo sorry I have NOT been keeping you posted. Most of you all have either called me or text me, or just straight showed up at my door. :)
Well,for those who don't know, here is a quick fill in.
Chemo #4
It went just as well as the others. I get tired as crap for the first 4-5 days after. This particular Friday though, my lab nurse informed me I had a temp of 99.8. Funny, I felt fine. My doctor then put my on some antibiotics and said I should be ok. All I had to do is take the pills and wear one of those surgical masks. OUTSTANDING! Of course, since I didn't feel sick, I didn't take the antibiotics as told. When I got home, I took my temp again and it said 97.8... so that's good... right? So, I called them up and told them just that. :D ThEEeey agreed that I didn't have to take the pills. Y'all!... that evening... my body turned on me. The fever was on me like nobody's business so I had to oblige and take the antibiotics.
Saturday morning
Today we are were celebrating Trey's 11th birthday. He's finally getting that pool party he's always wanted. Only thing is that this fever just about has me immobile. Long Story short. I had to end up calling my doctor that afternoon cause it wouldn't break and I felt like crap. OH! did I mention that I had a smoothie the night before that accidentally had too much wheat grass in it. hhmmm never again will I make that mistake. :D To my delight my doctor was on call and had me double up on the antibiotics and take some Tylenol, temp was was 102.8. By chance this concoction didn't succeed, "you're going to have to be admitted to the hospital." It worked :) Unfortunately, I still missed my son's party. :(
My Birthday- 1 day After Chemo #5
Never thought I would be celebrating my birthday with Cancer. Nonetheless, I am. Usually I'm pretty tired but I'm determined to make this day work for all of us. My mom had a BBQ at her place for me. For whatever reason, I decided to shower over there. idk. Today's outfit are some black Dereon jeans with my pink Rocawear shirt and my B.C. flip flops. NOT BAD for a 35 yr old. :) So why the heck was I in tears a few moments later. I cried my eyes out cause Chemo stolen half of each of my eyebrows and even more lashes... and it happened like overnight. Promise! they were fine the day before. One after the other, Chemo continues to steel from me. UGH! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! My sister came soon after and said "girl, we just gone do some fake lashes and draw some cute brows." Cool... BUT THEY AIN'T F'ING MINE!!!! After my little melt down, I went downstairs to enjoy my day. Chilled in a spot mom reserved for me, played a little Band Hero, and even ate a little something.
Well,for those who don't know, here is a quick fill in.
Chemo #4
It went just as well as the others. I get tired as crap for the first 4-5 days after. This particular Friday though, my lab nurse informed me I had a temp of 99.8. Funny, I felt fine. My doctor then put my on some antibiotics and said I should be ok. All I had to do is take the pills and wear one of those surgical masks. OUTSTANDING! Of course, since I didn't feel sick, I didn't take the antibiotics as told. When I got home, I took my temp again and it said 97.8... so that's good... right? So, I called them up and told them just that. :D ThEEeey agreed that I didn't have to take the pills. Y'all!... that evening... my body turned on me. The fever was on me like nobody's business so I had to oblige and take the antibiotics.
Saturday morning
Today we are were celebrating Trey's 11th birthday. He's finally getting that pool party he's always wanted. Only thing is that this fever just about has me immobile. Long Story short. I had to end up calling my doctor that afternoon cause it wouldn't break and I felt like crap. OH! did I mention that I had a smoothie the night before that accidentally had too much wheat grass in it. hhmmm never again will I make that mistake. :D To my delight my doctor was on call and had me double up on the antibiotics and take some Tylenol, temp was was 102.8. By chance this concoction didn't succeed, "you're going to have to be admitted to the hospital."
My Birthday- 1 day After Chemo #5
Never thought I would be celebrating my birthday with Cancer. Nonetheless, I am. Usually I'm pretty tired but I'm determined to make this day work for all of us. My mom had a BBQ at her place for me. For whatever reason, I decided to shower over there. idk. Today's outfit are some black Dereon jeans with my pink Rocawear shirt and my B.C. flip flops. NOT BAD for a 35 yr old. :) So why the heck was I in tears a few moments later. I cried my eyes out cause Chemo stolen half of each of my eyebrows and even more lashes... and it happened like overnight. Promise! they were fine the day before. One after the other, Chemo continues to steel from me. UGH! HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT! My sister came soon after and said "girl, we just gone do some fake lashes and draw some cute brows." Cool... BUT THEY AIN'T F'ING MINE!!!! After my little melt down, I went downstairs to enjoy my day. Chilled in a spot mom reserved for me, played a little Band Hero, and even ate a little something.
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